Dawn Rider

I get up early these days.  Today I rose just past 4:30, a bit of a necessary evil, since I went to sleep around 9:30 last night.  It's hard to say.  The lights went out at around ten minutes to nine and I think that I slept for a while before I saw that it was 9:40, then I was dreaming or should I say I was in a different place?  Dreams are odd because whatever else is going on we actually are in a different place, every bit as real and authentic as our waking lives, often vastly more interesting.  I think that in our dreams we are actually visiting the unseen, the condition of being that awaits us when we die and this gives me some level of insight as to why much of the content of our dreams is indecipherable.  It is because it touches on realities and a level of being that cannot be translated into our daily lives.

I was exhausted yesterday.  The 2 am fire alarm really threw me off.  Not just me but everyone who lives in my building.  I think we all had to struggle to get through the day.  There may be a suspicion that links the two recent fire alarms.  Both occurred because of the emergency sprinkler system going off on the sixth floor.  The first time I heard that a client was smoking in the hall of that floor and that set off the alarm and the sprinklers.  I suspect that he has done it again.  I have no evidence but I think I know who it is for a few reasons: 1. this individual lives on the sixth floor, 2. he is a smoker, 3. he is seriously mentally ill and often not able to judge or control his actions, 4. he was not present either time when the tenants came outside during the alarm, 5. he has a chronic attitude problem.

I decided to start getting up earlier more as a result of going to sleep early.  My professional demands make this necessary.  A couple of times a month I have to be up early for meetings, otherwise I usually begin work at 10 am, 9:30, some days not till 12 or 12:30.  For years I became lazy and careless and often stayed up till midnight, which was fine since I could get up at seven or eight in the morning and get away with it.  Until the day of the dreaded early meeting and I found it difficult to sleep well the night before, knowing that I would have to get up extra early to face my co-workers and drag my south end across my work day.

I still don't sleep as well as I'd often like, but I get up early enough to comfortably go back to sleep for a while if needed.  In the meantime the early morning quiet is something wonderful. I have extra time to write, think, pray, paint, study and read and of course listen to news and current events on the radio.  I have even resumed making coffee in the mornings.  Four times a week it is decaf which keeps me from getting re-addicted.

It's not a perfect arrangement, but it is a nice bulwark against worry and anxiety, especially about the uncertain future of housing security for seniors and others who live on low incomes.  I probably shouldn't have written that, since I don't want to have to lie awake worrying as I try to go down for a nap.