Balancing Act, 23

Friday morning I was enjoying a walk towards Stanley Park when at the stoplight I heard two young Mexican women (I am very familiar with the accent) talking in Spanish, in graphic detail about the dimensions of some guy's boy bits. They were of course talking in Spanish, a language in which I am very fluent, and likely they wouldn't imagine that a man with white skin and blue eyes would understand their beautiful language (it never seems to occur to those people that a lot of Argentinians and some Spanish people also look remarkably like me and their Spanish is sometimes even better!). So as the light was changing I said to them: "Cuidense. Escucho a escondidas. Que tengan un buen dia." Or, Be careful, I can hear what you're saying. Have a nice day. Their faces were quite horrified, they said nothing and just tried to get away from me as fast as they could. My accent in Spanish, by the way, is almost perfect, so they were probably trying to figure out what country I was from. Later that day, a Mexican friend of mine confirmed to me that Mexican girls can be absolute pigs when it comes to their way of talking about men. He also thought it was quite hilarious, as did my Peruvian friend (both men) whom I saw later. Now, there are many different ways of looking at that scenario and I am going to hit it with my best shot. First of all, I am quite sure I was not misunderstanding them. Always, when I say something in Spanish to people who are speaking the language around me, they are if not friendly, then at least cordial and polite. Not those too little rameras (whores in Spanish). Now, they might have thought I was just being a dirty old man. Don't think so. I think it was pretty clear to both those little fulanas (another Spanish word for you-know-what) that I was frankly embarrassed and offended. Of course, they didn't expect that I would know what they were saying because in their experience, only people with mestizo features can speak Spanish, which simply says something about their ignorance and intelligence. You know, when travelling abroad in Latin America I have become so sick and tired of local people trying to speak to me in English even after I have addressed them in perfectly fluent Spanish, that now I just confront them to their face. I tell them, in impeccable Castellano (a fancy-schmancy Spanish word for very correct Spanish, and it's pronounced cah-stay-YAH-no, or if you live in Argentina or Uruguay, it would sound more like cah-stay-ZHAH-no), "Perdoneme, pero ni el color de mi piel, tampoco mis ojos azules, son indicadores de mi idioma, y para tomar tal assumpcion es algo racista", or Excuse me, but my skin colour and my blue eyes have nothing to do with what language I speak, and your making that kind of assumption is rather racist. That's right, Gentle Reader, I pull no punches and I take no prisoners. I think both those little putas (same word) knew they were being presumptuous little idiots and couldn't deal with the embarrassment of being called on their appalling bad manners, especially by someone who was so obviously the other. And I have no doubt at all that I was also really messing with their heads as they were trying to figure out if I might be from Spain, or Uruguay or maybe Colombia.... Another thing is, I get really sick and tired of hearing men being demonized by women, especially now in this age of "Me Too." This is not to excuse Harvey Wine Stain and other such pigs for their incredibly atrocious and reprehensible sexual exploitation of women. But, hey you guys, this has absolutely nothing to do with gender, okay? Now, Gentle Reader, I will give you a minute or two to stop choking on your Shreddies before I continue...better now? This kind of piggish behaviour is all about power, and it just happens that men, for all kinds of historical and cultural reasons, have way more than their share of power. Not their gender, neither testosterone makes them behave badly towards women. It has been found over and over again that when women have power they are every bit as apt at abusing it and oppressing and yes, sexually exploiting those underneath them as men are. It is an equal opportunity problem. I also happen to know, being a male myself (even if I don't subscribe to or fit in the gender binary) that men are every bit as squeamish and modest as women are, and what President Dump, the Great Deplorable in the Outhouse (whoops, I mean White House) tries to dismiss as locker room talk is actually not typical of how men usually talk among themselves. It happens, yes, but not every day, and quite frankly, most of us would prefer to talk about something else. Gender binaries are a kind of prison and we need badly to break out of this. Long ago, for myself anyway, I rejected any concept of gender, because I found all the definitions and roles of masculinity and femininity to be equally wanting and equally bankrupt. I also found myself rejecting power, refusing both to wield power, and to not let anyone oppress me. It's been a very interesting dance but essential for living as a free person. Neither male nor female, but fully and completely human. Neither master nor servant, but master over myself, and servant to God and humankind. Still choking on your Shreddies, darling?