Happy Face 14

I have a new laptop now, Gentle Reader. It isn't bad and I got it cheap, just $300 including taxes. It is a bit of a learning curve because everything's been re-arranged on my desktop, and links are harder to find, plus, I have to google the website for Skype now everytime I want to make a video call, which is a time-consuming process. I should be grateful, I guess, but I am emotionally exhausted from this sudden learning curve and would prefer to shut down altogether for a while. This too shall pass. It is still a first world problem, but as I was saying to a friend in Mexico yesterday, it is downright embarrassing how dependent I have become on this technology just to get by in life and get through the day. Ironically, technology and other things have in many ways separated me from my local friends and brought me closer to friends who live in Colombia and Mexico. The other thing that sends me ballastic is that I always feel like a helpless idiot while trying to navigate my way through this technology and especially given how alone and ilsolated I often feel from others, but, hey, at least I will admit it, without turning to alcohol or pot or stronger substances in order to cope, but for a while, I was an emotional mess and was susceptible to meltdowns, just last night while figuring out the new laptop. The first thing that happened was the screen went sideways, and I had to take it back to the computer store for the owner to fix it for me. He is a kind person and very helpful, and for this I am grateful. It's appalling how much of our emotional and mental integrity we have bartered off to this technology. On the other hand, look at all the cool stuff we can do with it. I can have a conversation with a friend in another country, as though we were enjoying a cup coffee together. Twenty-five years ago that would have been science fiction. Basically, I wish I didn't have to rely on this technology. On the other hand, my mind, and my life, have opened up in some pretty nifty ways. What is really harmful is in the way that technology really does nothing to address social isolation and so much to help facilitte it. I remember a time when we used to phone or even drop in to visit each other in our homes. This doesn't happen anymore. I wonder if I would be more included in other people's lives during Christmas if we were less internet and social media dependent. A lot has changed and now we are acknowledging an epidemic of loneliness. Vancouver, where I live, has become a popular global destination for tourism and for resettlement, but this is really a visually lovely city without a soul. People all walk around as though they are the only ones here, each their own centre of their own little universe, too obsessed with their little phones to really notice that thery are not alone. Then, when they go home to their apartments or condos they are too often reminded of how few friends they have and they whine and cry about it as though this is just something that was done to them overnight, and they have not somehow played a role in it. I see this disconnect every day, and it is getting painful to have to witness and experience. But we are also pawns of forces over which we have no control, as globalism marches onward, relentlessly, unrelenting, and absolutely indifferent to the small fragile beings being crushed under its impact. I have no glib solutions to offer, except for this: no one is going to be let off the hook for not trying. This is why I still make an effort to talk to strangers, to say hi to people I see in passing. It may not be much, but if I can do just that one little bit of friendliness to help make things even a little more tolerable for myself and for someone else, then surely that is something, surely that is better than nothing? It's like the parable of the talents, where one man was given five, another two and another, but one talent to work with. The first two made hay of what they were given, doubled it, and were blessed forever after. The one who was given only one talent, hid it and buried it in the ground, and his outcome was eternal misery and anguish and torment. We cannot necessarily choose to be happy, but we can choose to care and to take care of one another, and now is the time to get moving on this. Who knows, you might even help start a revolution.