Nuance 20

I had a conversation with someone yesterday about a country I have never visited, but would like to, where this person goes frequently to visit family members. This person has married into the culture, so to speak, though does not speak the native language of the spouse (I am being very careful to not identify this individual, by the way, given that some of what I might be writing about said person might not come across as very flattering.) Now, I happen to be fluent in the language of that person's spouse and the country where this individual goes to visit every year. I found the comments of said person about this country to be interesting, if rather negative. I am also persuaded that the country is being viewed very much through this person's own myopic lens and that the people of this place are being judged according to that individual's personal prejudices and criteria. This is very easy to happen when you do not know the language of the place. I have also come to wonder whether there might be more to one's ability to learn a new language than neuro-wiring, as insist some linguists and neuro-scientists. I am not an expert and can only offer opinions and perspectives based on anecdotal evidence. So, here goes. There is a Colombian lady who lives in my building who seems absolutely incapable of learning English, even after twenty years. This lady is quite elderly, now, and will never forgive you if you imply anything about her age (this I have learned the hard way, Gentle Reader!) I have also been impressed by her absolute incapacity to adapt, or appreciate anything about the culture here in Canada. I recall one morning last year when in the hall she was complaining to me in Spanish about not being allowed to have parties in her apartment with her door open. There had been complaints by another tenant or two, besides me, and management cracked down her. She proceeded to lament how this place was way too quiet, that it was like living in a tomb. I have often suspected that there may be more to her inability to learn English than the sheer hard work it requires to become adept in another language. Simply, she probably never wanted to. She did not want to put aside even a little bit of her Colombian identity in order to accommodate her new country. I have come to suspect that, given how important it is that we make ourselves open, and vulnerable, to a new language in order to learn it, then possibly not being able to learn it might also suggest a lack of flexibility and a stubborn unwillingness to accept and embrace anything new. I do happen to notice that this could well be a trait shared in common by this lady and the other person I have just mentioned on this blogpost. By the same token, people who are multilingual, or even fluently bilingual, I have found to be very flexible and open-minded and always seem curious about the unknown, the different, the other. This isn't to say that my Colombian friend is a hostile churl. She is actually quite a lovely person, but the catch 22 she has found herself in is going to really limit her life experience. Learning a new language is not a cakewalk. To do it well, you have to become open and vulnerable and let the new language completely colonize your brain, like an incubus. This can be very scary, and persons with a more conservative bent (or a refusal to bend) are probably not going to do very well, as they continue to stubbornly live in their own little world while muttering bitterly about how lonely it is and how unfriendly others seem to be.