Theology Of Love 25

 I am often reminded that I am very much an outsider.  For example, when I listen to different programs on CBC Radio One, it is easy to get sucked into thinking that I am one of those middle class, presumably white, Canadians, university educated, with a lovely profession that pays over 80,000 a year, a four bedroom house with a yard and a garden, a family of my own, lovely neighbours, two cars, investments, and social status.  Those are the target audience of the CBC, after all.  So when I hear anything that is being addressed to the invisible audience I have to filtre out almost everything, and this is not easy, becase it is too easy to assume that they are talking directly to me.

We are also going to be assumed to all be, if not atheists, then nonbelievers anyway, or nonattenders of any faith community or house of worship.  So it is going to be assumed that we are not going to believe in anything except ourselves and we are not going to live for any cause other than ourselves, our family, our nation, and ourselves again.

This afternoon, while listening to an interview with a famous British novelist, likely an atheist, just like the host of the program, who said quite innocently that there is nothing better in life than living for one's self, no spouse, no family, no faith concerns to tie up your life and get in the way.  Uh-huh.  That I suppose is what makes me and many other Christians so ludicrous.  We acknowledge that we are not put on this earth to live for ourselves.  And we do try to live lives of service and care for others, even if we are often not very good at it.

Here is an example today.  This is for me a day off, which doesn't seem as important as it used to, since now I only work part time, maybe around 25 hours or less a week.   Following my quiet and solitary walk in Stanley Park today, I did a little grocery shopping, then stopped for a coffee (decaf right now) and to do some artwork in my sketchbook in a café that I happen to like.  Just as I was beginning to settle in, one of my new clients arrived and sat with me to chat and unburden himself.   My client and I live just a kitty corner from each other  It is inevitable that we are going to run into each other.   He can also be rather hard to engage with, so I have to be very flexible in our arrangements if I am going to work well with him.  Now, today is Sunday, and I am not allowed to work on Sundays.  And really, even though he is my client, I also like this man, and think of him as a friend, but of course within professional boundaries.   

I am not going to try to set up appointments with him on Sundays, for the simple reason that professionally I am not allowed to.  Neither am I going to snarl at him go away, can't you see it's my day off!  Especially not with someone who already feels isolated and unwanted by others.  Did my day off get ruined?  Hell no, it was nice for me to have someone to talk to.  Unless I was just here to live for myself.  Then I would be pretty darn miserable.