Today, I fired my physician. I simply phoned the clinic this morning and cancelled our next appointment, and I explained to the receptionist my reasons for cancelling. It was easier than I thought, though I did feel sort of mean and bad and ugly afterward, since I hate rejecting others, having been greatly victimized myself by the rejection of others. I was also wondering how that could be fit into the Theology of Love, and I think it can. First of all, even if I rather dislike this doctor, I only dislike his behaviour towards me. I don't really know him as a person away from his work, and I do not know anything at all about his life, if he is married, has kids, pets, is single, straight, queer or other, or if he collects stamps or tortures small animals when no one's around.
As a doctor, I find him impersonal, immature, cold, officious, negative and arrogant. I have seen him only twice, the first time in 2019, the second time just two weeks ago. I at first thought that he would be okay after all, then later, in retrospect, realized that this was going to be a very uncomfortable and likely comflict-ridden, patient-doctor relationship. Knowing that I am both assertive and combative, especially when others try to wield power over me (I prefer to go after big game), I also really have to pick my battles. Conflict in a doctor-patient relationship is always ill-advised. If there is anyone you should feel safe and comfortable with then that ought to be with your health care provider. No-brainer.
I could see right away with this individual that assertiveness would go nowhere. He is the doctor, which makes him god. With a small g, of course. I knew by our first conversation, which was about the Monteverde region of Costa Rica, were I now try to visit every year in order to see my friends there, as well as enjoy the incredible nature and biodiversity there. So, this young upper middle class twit of a doctor, who had also visited Monteverde, just once for maybe two days the previous year, what was his take-away of that incredible and most beautiful part of the world, this place where the people are so warm and generous and the birds and butterflies unmatched in beauty? This is all my good doctor could remember or say about Monteverde, and it's world famous cloud forest. Bungee jumping. That's right, Gentle Reader. what he erroneously insisted to be the highest point in Latin America. My health care provider only remembered the bungee jumping. I asked him about the cloud forest, the incredible birds and butterflies and wildlife, the poeple, and drew only one blank after another. And he repeated, bungee jumping. From the highest point in Latin America. That´s right, ducks, an incurable twit.
I tried several times to change doctors, but without success. He was away on a lengthy leave of absence so I saw other doctors there (they are still monitoring my health because of difficulties I was having with my thyroid and pituitary). But I also asked for a different doctor, No luck. I was reassigned to him. Now we are monitoring my blood pressure.
The nurse I saw twice before him was wonderful, warm, professional, friendly, compassionate and competent. When I saw my doctor just a week later, showing that my blood pressure had fallen from 165 to 148, just from reducing my caffeine, he could only sneer that it was not very much progress and was going to put me on medication. I refused. So, since they are playing deaf at my request for a different physician, I will simply go on cancelling appointments until they comply.
Now how does this all fit in with a theology of love? I think this has something to do with acting on principal, and even if it isn't warm and fuzzy, it is still maintaining a focus on doing the right thing instead of letting a bad situation fester into something even worse. nd it is for love for the other players qas well as myself tht this needs to get done.
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