I had an interesting chat with one of my bosses the other day. We were having coffee together, rather under the guise of having a meeting. The truth is, this boss and I have become good friends, and yes, we meet together every two weeks, usually on a Thursday. He is quite extraordinary, as far as bosses go, which also helps facilitate the friendship. Our particular organization is divided into five teams. Currently, I work with three of these teams. My boss is in charge of number one. However, both my supervisors, two women young enough to be my daughters, are associated with team number five. Wednesday, I was on the phone for a meeting with one of my supervisors and another peer support worker. We are developing an art project for our clients. I am an artist. Neither my supervisor, nor the other peer support worker are artists. So, they have a lot of other ideas, but this also makes the focus a little bit too broad, since the original idea was art, as in, drawing, painting, sketching, colouring, collage and that sort of thing. The other peer support worker is also, should I say, a bit on the strong side. Pushy, I find her. So, I am having to push back, which I don't enjoy, but sometimes becomes inevitable.
I do not want to combine what we are doing, since for me the idea is being able to keep enough of an oxygen supply for what I want to do with clients, which is art, while also respecting my coworker's strengths. But we really cannot combine too closely what we are doing, because art is one thing, and other creative and crafty activities move rather in another direction. So, when I created some posters for advertising the art group, it was simply that. The art group. My two colleagues were wanting to put extra text on my posters for the other things they wanted to do. But I do not want to combine what we are doing, for the simple reason that I don't want to spread myself too thin. I also want boundaries to be clear and respected. I think I have finally persuaded them, but it wasn't easy. I finally told them both the saying, that a camel is a horse that was assembled by committee. Oh, but there was silence on their end of the phone!
Here is a link to my posters, ducks, if you want to have a look.
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=050c35849c&attid=0.3&permmsgid=msg-f:1683746247833376632&th=175dde4aa2015778&view=att&disp=inline
As I reviewed the scenario with my boss, he gave me a dear little smile and said, well, no one has sent me an email yet, so I guess it's okay. We do have a common understanding here summed up in my following remark, "I do tend to be a learning curve for others (thinking particularly of supervisors)". then I suggested the reason why. It is because I always think outside of the box. Actually I have always thought outside of the box. For me the box has never really existed. And this has at times been particularly problematic. When I was seeing an employment counsellor for a few years, she had to basically teach me about the various boxes that most people tend to think and live inside. Necessary knowledge for someone like me, if I am to cope reasonably well in the workplace, where probably ninty-nine percent of my coworkers, including supervisors and bosses, are going to be usually living and thinking within said boxes. At times, I even tried to find myself a new home within the boxes, with very limited success, and now I don't really even try. It is enough to simply have a good idea of how others are living.
As I mentioned to my boss, it is because of the way my life as a Christian has so predicated and defined the way I live. Not as a morally flabby but progressive Anglican who says one thing and does another, nor as a mouth breathing fundamentalist. My experience of the Christian life has been focussed around an intimate and innate experience of the presence of God, the living presence of God, and that presence is love. But we live in a world where not love, but an entire death culture of fear, greed and selfishness set the dominant tone. So, my life expression is often going to be at work addressing and challenging this very death culute that defines the way most of us live. Which is where my communications in my work can often get particularly difficult.
For example, I am being particularly stubborn about my focus on fine art, because I want my clients to share and enjoy this focus, without getting confused or distracted by other activities, unless they are actually interested in the other activities, and then I will refer them to my coworker.
In the coffee shop yesterday, I told a friend about this, which he found rather entertaining, I'm sure. Then a young Muslim woman came in with her toddler in a baby buggy. We weren't able to sit together, since there was someone else in the other chair, so I was at the table across. Both tables are in the front of the coffee shop, with comfy chairs and lots of space, so it is not unusual for strangers to share either of these tables. The Muslim woman went to a table in the back, where there was not a lot of room, so she had to obstruct the bathroom. When I went to use the washroom, I invited her to trade tables with me. When she came over, we saw there was room for all of us, so we shared the table and even chatted a little.
I am writing this, Gentle Reader, as an illustration of how love is not contained within boxes, but transcends and crosses all the lovely boundaries that we impose to try to keep love out..
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