Theology Of Love 39

 It is always an uphill climb but that is how we get stronger. I am sometimes appalled at my own lack of courtesy towards others, as if the rest of you aren't already bad enough.  For example, in the café this morning, I finally actually said hi to a young woman who is often there with her laptop (she works from home, even if home is a coffee shop).  I am generally a bit shyer with women than men, but mostly out of courtesy.  Women put up with so much crap from men, that I am sure a lot of young women simply are not comfortable with some random older guy giving them the time of day.  And for good reason.

But I'm not exactly some random guy.  Last summer I traded tables with her because she needed an outlet nearby for her laptop.  We exchanged a couple of friendly words, and on occasion we would say hi in the coffee shop.  I have already made another friend in this café, who is also a tech worker who is often there with his laptop.  No more details are needed, since I do want to protect people's privacy, unless I don't happen to like them, as with the archbishop for this Anglican diocese when she sicked her lawyer on me last spring because I wouldn't shut up about my need at the time for pastoral support and she steadfastly ignored me (so sue me, Melissa!)

And I don't hate the archbishop.  But she really defaulted on her pastoral responsibilities, as did my parish priest, who also steadfastly stonewalled me.  It was only when I was threatening to go public, and starting to, about what they were pulling off when the cowards actually backed off.   And Anglicans, as well as being the most outrageous hypocrites in Christendom, are also unbelievable cowards.  It's middle class privilege you know.  

Have I forgiven those people?  Well, several times in as may months I have emailed her nibs about reconciling, and the old coward won't face up.  She keeps ignoring me.  And these are Christians.  Ministers.  Representing the same denomination that has been publicly wearing the hair shirt, publicly beating their breast and thumping their tub in the most shameless public virtue signalling as they crow and bleat so loudly like manic roosters and sheep about how sorry they are for how they treated First Nations and all about reconciliation.  Yet the old bag can't even bring herself to reconcile with a low income blogger whose only sin was refusing to shut up when I was being refused help and support.  

Forgiveness is a process.  And I will not stop reminding those people that as Christians we have a responsibility to reconcile.  No excuses.

Back to my friends in the coffee shop.  This morning, my friend and the young woman were sharing a table, but not interacting, and I said hi to both of them, and we all had fun visiting and chatting together.  Sometimes it was like a little party, it was so much fun.  

I am not going to stop reaching out.  And I am not going to shut up.