The Peacock 539

 "Is there a story there?" says Carl, grinning.

"Carl, please!" says Sarah, now starting to sound really annoyed.

"Just the facts, ma'am."

"Well, what would you like to hear?"

"Tell us everything!" says Aaron with one wicked little grin.

"Well, everything is not what you are going to hear" she says.  "but I will say this much.  Priscilla's passing put me in quite a tailspin.  let me explain.  I mentioned she had twin sons who also played in her band.  Well, it turns out that Priscilla made me executor of her estate, and she also left me quite a handsome sum of money.  and of course, neither of her son's, Bruno or Damien, were anything pleased about it, and were determined by hook or by crook to get their hands on it.  They never did really like, or accept me by the way, which I think might have been Priscilla's other reason for not wanting me to sing with them, notwithstanding my stage fright, I mean.   Anyway, it got pretty ugly, but once the judge decided in my favour, I was out of there faster than your could say anything that you would want to say.  I was on the next flight to Thailand, where began nearly two years of pure travel adventure.  Thailand was incredible, and I also stopped in Cambodia to see the temples of Angkor Wat, then to Indonesia, but I ended up spending eighteen months in Australia, principally in Melbourne, where I had a friend who badly wanted to see me.  It turned out that she could not put me up as she had promised, since she suddenly had a man living with her (yes, I did say, 'a man'), but Susan had a friend who ran a pretty decent hostel downtown, and it was a nice place, plus, we still got to see each other several times a week, and, it turned out, her boyfriend also liked me.  If, maybe a little bit too much, if you catch my drift.

The Peacock 538

 "Where did you take your training, darling?" says Carol

"Training?" says Sarah.

"For your voice."

"I am untrained."

"Bosh.  No you're not, you have an exquisite and beautifully controlled pitch and an incredible range, four octaves did I hear?  I repeat, Sarah, where did you receive training?"

"I'm telling the truth", she says, almost peevishly.

"How very, completely, totally and absolutely remarkable", says Carol, shaking her head in mock disbelief.  "Did you and Priscilla sing together?"

"Only at home, and generally if she was working on a new song, which she usually was.  She actually didn't want me to perform with her because my voice was too perfect."

"Oh, what rubbish!"

"For me, a relief, actually.  I just don't enjoy performing."

"Is it the attention, dear?"

"Yes.  And something else.  But that really got set in motion after Priscilla passed away..." 

The Peacock 537

 Sarah appears completely oblivious to the impact she has just left on us.  The way she simply resumes chatting after reciting this bit of poetry that can only leave us all slack jawed in silent awe.  Now she looks around, nervous and self-conscious, as though only now she has figured out that she is already naked, and everyone has known this since already.

"Sarah", says Carol, after a moment's contemplation.  "Would you like to do with me a, a collaboration.  You have such a wonderful voice, and that song that you just performed for us....you're partner composed, and performed that?"

Sarah blinks a couple of times, as though still trying to figure out that she is naked.  "I might have improvised some of it."

"How much?"

I don't know.

"Did you feel as though something had just taken possession of you, dear?"

"Yes.  I think so.  I do feel so odd right now.  Almost like I want to cry."

"That happened to me, I think, earlier, when I was playing the piano.  Something, just gained possession of me."

"But Sarah," says Carl, "that was incredibly beautiful.  Maybe you and Carol could work on something together."

"Yes, maybe", says Sarah, " Maybe we could...

The Peacock 536

 "At the university.  I was studying library sciences at UBC and her twin sons were each doing their masters, one in neurobiology, the other in physics.  With two other guys they formed a band with Priscilla, who had been at the vanguard previously on the punk scene in the seventies.  But then she got married, had her sons, and got a regular job in early childhood education.  As if there were many parents out there, knowing her resume, would be willing to trust her with their small kids.  But Priscilla was amazing, amazingly responsible, amazingly kind, amazingly disciplined and amazingly creative, amazingly passionate.  And what a voice.  I said Patti Smith meets Nina Hagen.  And the lyrics, the poetry that she sang,  Here are a couple of her lines", and Sarah, who has quite an impressive soprano voice, begins to sing,

"we are the trees,

We are the forest,

We are the stones clustered in the dirt, We are the river, flowing underneath the roots,

we are the rain and the mist

We are the fire and the blood and the smoke

 We are the black rage

that pulses and screams and sings and howls and roars through the bones of Mother Earth

We are the scream, we are the song, we are the howl, we are the roar,

we are the cyclone, we are the hurricane, the typhoon 

 we are the destruction and the rage and the joy.

we are the destruction and the rage and the joy

we are the destruction and the rage and the joy...

Rebirth, rebirth, rebirth, rebirth...

We are the midwives, and we are the child and we are the mother and we are the blood

 we are the fire, we are the water, the song and the rage

 the silence of the dead.

 the silence of death.

the silence of death,

the silence of death.

we are the song and we are the love that throbs and quivers, we are the eternal serpent Leviathan that pulses and lunges from the depths of the boiling sea.

From the chaos,

 the foundation of our dreams and nights of silent waiting ,

nights of silent dread for the coming of the one, 

for the shining, for the new dawn blazing

 and we are the horizon, we are the light and we are the river that runs through our dreams,

through the roots of the trees that anchor the earth to the bones of our mother the Earth

We will arise, with trees and the birds and the wolves

because we are the song of the ravens the cry of the eagles that prophesy against the destruction

 we are the tender shoot and the fragile leaf emerging from the black squalor,

 the tree of life whose fruit will nourish, whose leaves will heal and give shade from the scorching embrace of the benevolent sun

Because we are the night. we are the day.  The new day that will always be  dawning in the midst of the night 

the impregnable night of our toxic destruction.

rebirth, rebirth, rebirth, rebirth."

"she sang that for a benefit for the protests protecting old growth forests.

"But she was amazing.  And she would visit the campus to meet and practice with her sons, because they were already setting themselves in motion and this time the world was ready for them."

The Peacock 535

 "Your turn, Sarah", says Carl, smiling.

"My turn?"

"Have you always been single?"

"I am a widow."

"When did you lose your husband?" says Carol."

"She was my wife."

"Is this okay for you, right now?" Carl says.

"Oh, yes.  Don't worry.  I was just taken by surprise.  We weren't married long, and I was pretty young, just twenty-three when I married Priscilla, and she was already in her fifties.  She died three years later, breast cancer.  It was in remission when we first knew each other, but when we tied the knot, we had a tacit understanding that she might be gone soon."

"What was her profession?"  Carol asks.

"She was a musician."  

"Classical?"

"Punk.  Or neo punk. She had a band.  They were pretty famous.  Ever hear of Priscilla and Her Little Mouth Breathers?"

"You were married to Priscilla?" says Carl, wide eyed and smiling.    I interviewed her for an article, just before she took ill.  Amazing woman.  She was like a cross between Patti Smith and Nina Hagen."

"She was one of a kind", says Sarah.  "She was one of a kind."

The Peacock 534

"You have a daughter?" says Sarah.

"I am a dad."

"How old is she?"

"Twenty-three."

"Where does she live?"

"In Burnaby.  With her mom."

"Do you ever see her?" says Sheila.

"As often as I can."

"So, that's why?" Sarah says-asks.

"Why what", Adam replies.

"You guys often disappear from us."

"I cannot tell a lie", says Lazarus.

"You must invite her here for a visit", says Carl.  "I mean, when it's safe."

"She is very curious about meeting all of you here", says Lazarus.  "She has been very busy with school and now she is doing her practicum."

"What field will she be working in", asks Aaron.

"Mental health", says Lazarus.  She's a newly minted community mental health worker, my little girl, and I am right proud of her."

The Peacock 533

 "But why didn't you guys go on to get married, since you were already in the same community together."

"Why didn't we?" says Michael to Matthew.

"You know something, dear Michael", he says, pausing for a sip of his coffee, "That is something I have never even thought of."

"Me neither", says Michael quietly.

"It wasn't necessary", Glen says, suddenly, which seems a bit odd, given how quiet he has been.

"I suppose you're right" says Matthew.

"He's bloody well right", enunciates Michael.

"It was a case of been there, done that", says Matthew.

"Saw the movie, read the book", says Michael.

"Got the T shirt, and the baseball cap", says Matthew.

"But then", Sarah says, Looking towards George and Jeffery, "there's you guys."

"What about us guys?" says George.

"Why did you get married?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea", says George, smiling.

"Me neither", says Jeffery.

"And then there's Lazarus and Adam.  What is this all about?" Sarah says.

"That one size doesn't fit all", says Sheila.

"It's all rather curious", says Carol, "Don't you think?"

"I really wish I knew what to think", says Adam.  "But here we are."  Then he says to Lazarus, "by the way, any word from Kiera?"

"Kiera?" says Sarah.

"My daughter", says Lazarus.