Dude, It's Only Coffee! 13

 Coffee is one of the world's number one cash crops for international exports.  This from Uncle Google:

Coffee is one of the most important cash crops, known best for its delicious taste. Carefully roasted beans are manufactured to produce popular beverages that are consumed worldwide. Coffee beans are grown along the Equatorial zone called “The Bean Belt”, in over 70 countries.

It is the number one export crop in Ethiopia, number three in Costa Rica (previously number one), contributes to 8.1 percent of the export value in Colombia, Brazil is the world's largest coffee producer (and the worst violator of human rights of the workers on their coffee farms and plantations); fourth in Indonesia, number one or almost number one in Guatemala:  I could go on.  It goes without saying, it is a very important crop and quite the cash cow for emerging economies.  

It is also addictive, if mildly so, but addictive enough to keep us hankering for more.  So, I suppose we could thank our weakness for caffeine for helping to fuel struggling economies, even if in most cases very little of the money actually goes to those that need the most asstiance.in those countries.  And of course there are the purported health benefits along with the equally purported health risks.  My guess is, now that coffee has become such a prominent market crop, they are going to emphasize, or at least invent healthy excuses for wanting to drink it. All you have to do is say the magic word antioxidants, and there you go!

So, by buying and drinking coffee, you are helping contribute to the global economy.  You are making the world go round.  By buying and drinking coffee, you are making yourself a fast, smart and effective little worker.  You are promoting capitalism.  You are making the world go round.  By buying your coffee at Starbucks or other prominent purveyors of low scale addiction, you are investing in market international enterprise.  You are making the world go round.  Coffee is important.  And it makes you important.

Drink coffee.  Do stupid things faster!