Gentle Reader, this is a conversation between my twenty-year-old self, Greg, and the person that Greg has turned into over a span of forty years, me, Aaron. Greg, or Gregory, is my birth name which I legally changed in 1995 to Aaron.
Aaron: How did you get in here?
Greg: Is that any way to welcome an old friend?
Aaron: Yes, I suppose I have always been a bit on the snarky side.
Greg: You wear it beautifully.
Aaron: Flattery will get you nowhere.
Greg: It sure didn't get you very far.
Aaron: Are you disappointed?
Greg: No.
Aaron: Are you sure?
Greg: This is a nice apartment.
Aaron: It's small.
Greg: It's beautiful. With all the art and the books and the exotic table clothes and everything it looks so magical.
Aaron: Well, you always had a flair for decorating, didn't you?
Greg: These are all your paintings?
Aaron: They are all your paintings.
Greg: I always wanted to be an artist.
Aaron: Well, Greg, you are going to become an artist.
Greg: When?
Aaron: I'm not telling you that. I don't want to ruin the surprise.
Greg: And are we famous now, Greg?
Aaron: That's no longer your name. You will change it, legally, to Aaron. And no we are not famous. I have sold quite a few paintings but not enough to live on.
Greg: Why Aaron, and why am I going to change my name?
Aaron: You know I cannot tell you that. You are going to have to find out when it is time.
Greg: What'll Mom say?
Aaron: It seems that we really obsessed over that one on our first acid trip. Do you remember?
Greg; I'm amazed that after forty years you still remember that. For me it was only last year.
Aaron: When you change your name Mom will already have been dead for a few years.
Greg: You can't be serious.
Aaron: Don't worry about it for now. You still have many years to cherish her.
Greg: What about Dad?
Aaron: He won't like it. There will already be problems between you, you will lose each other and then he will die.
Greg: How long has he been dead?
Aaron: Don`t let me spoil it for you. How do you like our paintings?
Greg: They're amazing. I see I'm going to revive my interest in birds.
Aaron: Are you ever.
Greg: What about our brother?
Aaron: We haven't seen or heard from each other in many years. Don't ask any more questions about him. You will be dead to each other and it will be for the best.
Greg: But-
Aaron: Never mind. There are worse things in life than having a family of people who neither love nor understand you. You will have friends, some damn good friends, and you will learn how to be your own person because at the end of the day, that is all you can be. The sense of relief and peace will always weigh more than the occasional loneliness,. Pull that chair over- will you?- and I will show you my laptop.
Greg: Show me your what?
Aaron: It's a small portable computer. Watch as I open it and now I type in the password and here we have a menu of shortcuts. I will show you how to write an email...then we will go onto Google. Lost already? Can`t say I`m surprised. I didn't learn how to use a computer till 2002. We have always been slow to learn new things, you and I, especially new technologies, which seem to still frighten us. But before I go on, Greg, let me offer you one little word of advice.
Greg: Go on.
Aaron: You are a dreadful dreamer. And you know, unlike what Mom used to say, that is not a bad thing. I`m not going to tell you to live your dreams because I have already done that which means that you are going to do this. You will waste several years trying to recapture a golden age that never really existed, except really in your dreams. And you know something else, Greg? One day you are going to have to wake out of your dream and that is exactly what I have had to do. And you know how I did it? By living my dream, and that is what woke me out of it. And you know something else? I have not lost my dream. You are not going to lose your dream, Greg. It is going to become a part of you and you will be able to live a full and rewarding life out of the beauty and richness of your dream which will become integral to the person that you are.
Greg: How did you get this nice little apartment?
Aaron: I was very poor for a few years and that qualified me for subsidized housing.
Greg: Subsidized?
Aaron: The government pays more than half the rent. I pay thirty per cent of my monthly income for rent.
Greg: Tell me how you pay the rent?
Aaron: I work at a low-paying job with vulnerable adults. We hang out together, go for coffee, talk about things, we do art together, I support them in their recovery from mental illness.
Greg: That is my future career?
Aaron: You could do worse. Right now you are what I call raw material. You've hardly lived. You have become a voracious reader and that is a very good sign. Have you finished reading "The Waves" by Virginia Woolf?
Greg: It's hard to follow. It's stream of consciousness and it kind of gets you inside each character but there is something very strange about this style of writing, and I find that I am always experiencing something so exquisite that it'll drive me mad.
Aaron: Get used to it. You have a rare and deep intelligent sensitivity. You are going to have to master it because it is going to lead you through some very interesting doors...By the way, how do you like me so far?
Greg: I like you very much. I am glad that you are what I am going to turn into.
Aaron: You`re not always going to enjoy the process of getting there. Even now, at sixty, I am in a state of process. I am still becoming the person that God has ordained me to be.
Greg: When do we arrive? When do we get there?
Aaron: Oh, don't ask stupid questions! And by the way, as you have noticed from that particular bookcase of books in Spanish, you are going to become fluent in Spanish, the language of Cervantes, and you are going to get pretty good at it, and then you and I will be able to ask dumb questions in two different languages.
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