Liar

I hate being lied to.  I always try to be honest though I probably never get it right either even if I have often been justifiably accused of being morally superior (Moi?)  I find it a touch ironic that the people who accuse me of moral superiority are themselves usually narcissists lacking a moral compass.  For me one of the most offensive lies is the effort to completely deny responsibility for an injury that has been dealt.  This happened to me quite recently.

Sometime in April I had my last visit with an ex-friend.  This is a fellow from Spain whom along with his Mexican wife I helped a lot getting established here in Canada as recent immigrants.  When they abandoned me for their new younger and fashionable friends I really became suspicious.  I did not expect them to be available to visit often but they seemed to have all but forgotten me.  When I raised this concern they, especially the douchebag husband, became particularly offended with me for making demands, usually an indication that says more about them than it does about me.

During our final visit I disclosed to him when he asked some very sad information about my family history.  I mentioned that my father was funding my brother's (his preferred son) cocaine habit and this was his excuse for not helping me financially when I was going through a crisis of homelessness (I am not a drug-user by the way, should you be inclined to know, Gentle Reader).  Then I went on to say that my father finalized his rejection of me and within a couple of years was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  By this time I was unable to contact him.  I didn't learn of his death in 2009 till three years later in 2012, from an aunt who phoned me for the first time in decades and from whom I have heard nothing since.  My Spanish ex-friend expressed outrage and horror, not that my family had treated me so shabbily, but that I would tell him something so awful and how dare I upset him.

A few days ago I sent Spanish Douchebag an email expressing regret that he had spoken to me in this manner instead of showing some sense of compassion or empathy.  He replied expressing complete ignorance of this conversation and I must be making it up.  I tried again to enlighten him also informing him and his wife that they basically exploited and used me for my usefulness to them and have since abandoned me now that I am no longer useful to them.  I also elucidated in detail our last conversation.  He responded with a particularly abusive email.  I replied taking the high road and took care not to exchange insult for insult.  I also told him that he was really lying about not remembering what he said to me about feeling offended with me for telling him about what my family had put me through, told him that he has shown me his true colours and that considering that I am old enough to be his father he might speak to me with a little more respect.  I also told him that I did not want to hear from him again for a year (or longer) and any email I get from him in the meantime will be deleted unread.

While losing friends this way is always sad and upsetting I feel like I have been set free from this lying douchebag (in Mexican Spanish Pendejo, in Spain Capullo) and never again do I have to encumber myself with such a lying narcissist.

This kind of lying to cover your ass is completely unacceptable.  I received this treatment several months ago as well from a coworker.  At a staff retreat, with another coworker she was looking at some things with my supervisor on his iPhone.  I asked them what they were looking at.  She tartly replied that they were looking at pornography.  Later I confronted her about the inappropriateness of what she said.  She denied using the word pornography.  I didn't exactly let her get away with it.  Let's just say that for a few months afterward our relations at the office were very Antarctic.  Now that we are working together again on behalf of a client she has since praised my work style describing me as someone who knows where to draw the line.

Go figure.

In the meantime, Gentle Reader, let us consider these eternal words first spoken by Our Lord Jesus Christ.  "The truth shall set you free."