Surviving The Fall, 42

Don't get me wrong, Gentle Reader. I am not glorifying extroverts, some of whom can be some of the most obnoxious mouth-breathers crawling on our planet. They are people who act without thinking. Introverts tend to think without acting. I really don't know which is worse. The other day, I was out with a young client for the first time and we ran into a much older friend of hers. Now, I am not in the habit of disclosing anything about my clients on these pages, as we work under the strictest policy of confidentiality and for very good reason. So, you will forgive me for not disclosing any revealing details in this account. I will just say that this individual was a person of my parents' generation. (Believe it or not, Gentle Reader, there are still surviving representatives of my parent's age demographic and they are not yet centenarians!) This individual I would call an uber-extrovert. They were immediately slapping my back and shaking my hand and telling me all the things I should be doing with my client to help improve the quality of her life, and this was just so very embarrassing. I was polite, but said nothing and backed away, later explaining to my client our practice of confidentiality. I really don't like this polarity or this binary about extroverts and introverts, by the way. I often wonder if, rather than being born one way or the other, we simply just adapt as we fumble our way through childhood. Those who are able to read cues and adapt and conform are going to be the most successful children, and adults. There is no way around this. It doesn't matter how gifted and bright the social outsiders. Lacking those essential skills and the courage to actually try with others will become for us a huge disadvantage, and we will be the most likely to spending at least part of our adult lives in some kind of community care, an emergency shelter, or pushing a shopping buggy through back alleys at night. I don't mean to sound so bleak. But so much depends on our ability to adapt and conform with others. There is also a need for the collective to learn greater flexibility and compassion and empathy. It is the lack of acceptance and chronic social rejection that makes shy and socially awkward children into maladapted and problematic adults. I am often amazed that with what I had to suffer both from my immediate family and my peers that I haven't turned out a lot worse, myself. But I was also fortunate that strategic people and groups intervened in my life when I most needed those interventions, largely through my Christian faith and experience, and this whole dimension of spirituality and seeking to be part of community and to live out the teachings and precepts of Jesus and his apostles has likely done more than anything to hold me up and protect me from those horrific vortices and downward spirals. Ageing well also seems to help. I was reflecting yesterday about how much I enjoy being in my sixties. I cannot think of a time in my life where I have felt better, happier, more content, better connected, and more creative. I also got to enjoy yesterday a very interesting extroverted but introverted kind of day. I had to work from home, as I am putting together some rather challenging course material about great artists for the art classes for some of our clients. I started at home just after 7:30 and continued till after 11. Then I took a bus to the rich neighbourhoods, and did a three mile walk. I sometimes said hi to strangers, usually wishing people a happy Wednesday, since the day was neither Tuesday nor Thursday, and it certainly wasn't Saturday. To one Chinese woman, who seemed delighted at being wished a happy Wednesday, I explained the origins of the greeting. There is a tenant in my building who is developing dementia and once he asked me what day it is. Since then, when I run into him, I smile and say, Happy Monday, or Tuesday, or Wednesday, or whatever day it is, and it seems like a warm and playful way of touching the day with people, so I've gotten into the habit of using it. In the coffee shop I chatted a bit with the lady on duty, who liked the rose that I have been drawing, and chatted briefly but warmly with a couple of other patrons. On the way home, walking more through the wealthy neighbourhoods, I was singing "Cry Me a River", since a lot of the lovely elegant homes and front gardens are being currently blighted with very angry red and white signs protesting a very tiny additional property tax on particularly expensive homes, for general revenue and I really think those rich douchebags have nothing to whine about. When a letter carrier approached me, I told him I was singing for them a special little song and he just burst out laughing. l A bit later a little rich boy coming home from school called out to me "Hey Mister, how are you today?" and I replied "Pretty good, Mister, and how are you?" He wanted to know if I had a tie and I said, not today, and he also wanted to know what happened to my hair. I replied that this often happens to men when we get older and who knows, it could even happen to him. He asked me if I was working today and what kind of work I do and I replied that I have been working today and I work with people who have problems. Then he wanted to know my age. I said I could be his grandfather, but probably I'm not. He said he is nine. I replied that if you multiply his age by seven and subtract one, he would know my age. He wasn't sure about the math so I did it for him. Then, he turned into one of the smaller mansions, saying "this is my house." I replied that it looks like a nice house and wished him a good day. On my way to the bus stop I noticed that I might have to run for the approaching trolley. Instead of running for it, I just waved to the driver and we both arrived almost simultaneously at the stop. As I boarded I mentioned that it just seemed less inelegant wave and wished him a happy Wednesday and he seemed warm and welcoming. So, gentle Reader, this is an idea of how I manage to balance introversion with extroversion, but really it's about rejecting the binary and simply living our lives, eh?