Surviving The Fall, 49

Welcome to summer, Gentle Reader. Today, in the Northern Hemisphere, we celebrate the first day of summer, the solstice, the longest day of the year. After that it's downhill. I kind of regret that I haven't been able to stay out till sunset, for the simple reason that I go to bed early now. It isn't that I start work so early in the morning, though sometimes I have to, given early meetings that happen occasionally, but in order to cope with my sleep disorder. I often cannot sleep for longer than four hours without waking up then staying awake, at least for a couple of hours. So, knowing this beforehand, I try to get to sleep by or before 9:30 at night, after between ten minutes and an hour of reading in bed (depends on how tired I am). I probably am able to stay asleep, though I still usually wake up once or twice in the night, in order to log a good seven hours at least. But two or three of those nights every week are something different. I am suddenly wide awake at one am, but I stay in bed for another couple of hours, just to make sure that my brain can get some benefit from ling horizontally (it has been found that we need to be lying down at night for at least six hours and that this somehow helps cleans and renew the brain. Don't ask me for the facts, this isn't a science blog. But you can always ask your Uncle Google) Three am, sometimes earlier, I will tumble out of bed, often on four hours or less, then get started: brushing teeth, shaving, doing my shower, cleaning my place - quietly - then writing something on these pages and having breakfast. I will be listening to up to four different fascinating radio documentaries on the CBC, broadcast from Australia, Europe and the UK or the USA, as well as here in Canada, and it will be about a diversity of themes: families, racism, the environment, political experiments, the economy. Between four and five am, I will usually have finished the dishes and I will curl up in my recliner chair and go down for a three hour nap. It doesn't always go well, and I sometimes go through the day feeling jetlagged. But it's better than the alternative: staying up till ten, eleven or midnight, not sleeping well, then having to get up for work on less than adequate sleep without enough time to get more rest before having to begin my work day. I don't work tomorrow and I might stay up to see the sunset. Just to see what happens. This is all, of course, part of the daily struggles we all go through, the balances and compromises we end up agreeing to just to get through the day. We all have our part to play, keeping the economy god fed and placated with our daily human sacrifice. I at least have meaningful and satisfying (if severely undercompensated) work, and I generally have a lot of freedom from difficult supervisors and coworkers, being out in the community all day. But for those who work and slave at thankless and soul-destroying occupations, sometimes up to twelve hours a day or longer at different jobs? Just to buy a house, or a car. Or to put your kid through university? Or to pay gambling and credit card debts? Or simply to accumulate stuff that you don't need? I don't have a lot. My only piece of furniture that I bought new is my recliner chair. everything else I have bought second hand or have come by free. And I am surrounded by my art. I have just resumed reworking a painting of sun conures (a golden coloured parakeet from South America), that I had left for months, and I even wonder if this is helping me to sleep better. I decided to stop putting it off, and that I am no longer going to believe the excuse that I am finished as a painter, so why bother. I am never finished. I still draw. Now I am painting again. And this just might be key to sleeping better.