Healing Trauma: Perspectives And Attitudes, 18

It isn't all bad and dark. We have to cling to what is good, in ourselves and in others. There is a lot of good in the world. It isn't enough to just ignore the crap, because that is always going to be with us. But what about the diamonds in the horseshit? They are there. There are people among the self-absorbed doofuses who shine like little beacons. Some of those self-absorbed doofuses themselves actually sometimes shine like little beacons. Then they turn back into idiots again. We are not categorically good or evil, but each one of us has tendencies towards both. I think we are just often too lazy or tired or self-interested or impatient to choose the good, or at least the better. So, we have a lot of human virtue getting squandered into applying Band-Aids. The food banks, for example, are a Band-Aid. They are still necessary and it is a charity I support, for the simple reason that people have to eat. I have never had to rely on food banks myself, though I have been desperately poor. Even when I was on basic welfare, I still managed to get by with enough to eat. I did have to make trade-offs and sacrifices. I didn't even take the bus anywhere, because bus fare was too expensive. I got lots of exercise but it was rather difficult looking for work. I didn't have a phone, but subscribed to a voice mail service for people on low incomes. Twenty-five dollars a year. Saving quarters for pay phones for accessing my messages could be a challenge. Fortunately there were a couple of free community phones available, one in my neighbourhood. My rent was also incredibly cheap. For clothing, I was very lucky, since I tended to find stuff everywhere, including in a free box in front of the vintage clothing store belonging to a woman who bought some art from me. I also bought clothes second-hand. So, I did have enough to eat. Being vegetarian also seemed to help. But it wasn't easy, and before any of you think of making me into a poster child for not raising welfare rates, let me remind you that no one should have to make the tradeoffs and sacrifices that I had to make in order to basically survive. There were also kind and caring and helpful people all along the way, who sometimes would quickly turn back into selfish idiots. But the whole problem here is with our system of social and economic supports. No one should have to struggle the way I did, and now that it is even harder to stay alive on so little, we really need and deserve something with more dignity and respect. But the problem isn't just with our broken and dysfunctional systems. We are the problem. We are unfinished, wounded, carrying tons of ancestral baggage, and just too self-centred and tired from having to cope with it all, or so it seems, in order to enact lasting and redemptive change on our systems of government and social cohesion. But things still have to change and they only will begin to change and develop in healing and holistic directions once us humans start doing the same for ourselves and each other.