Life As Performance Art 75

Yesterday I spoke with the two archdeacons, with the support of a friend being present. I told them my story, of the misunderstandings, the abusive and exploitative treatment, the lies, the cover-ups. No, this was not as grave or as damaging as being diddled by a priest, but the emotional fallout has still been considerable, and I have just taken a major step towards healing. They heard me with compassion and interest and I felt among friends. I have enough hope to balance the distrust that I naturally feel towards clergy, as I could see, hear, and sense the real human beings behind the clerical collars. This is important. My sleep is still suffering, but it was a bit better last night. Since writing those sentences I have had breakfast and gone down for a two and a half hour nap. Now it is 7:23 am. There isn't much further guarantee, but I do hope I can actually confront face to face the persons who made my life difficult, but that might not be as important as I once thought. I am not in this for vengeance, though it would still be nice to hear from their own lips their side of the story, even if they are likely to tell lies, and even better, the words of apology. Perhaps better for now to let those asses graze in their pasture. As for financial compensation, that remains to be seen, though that isn't the reason I am doing this. Now there remains the day to day, the everyday, and getting on with daily life. This morning is bright and full of colour. It remains to be seen how this day is going to unfold, but first I have to begin by putting one foot in front of the other. Life can be very dull and routine and gray. Or life can be full of drama, theatre and colour. If it was all kaleidoscopic pageantry, we wouldn't be able to cope. It would become for most of us an uninterrupted manic fiesta that we would soon tire from, then we would be able to find no way out of the loud, noisy and joyous gaiety, all the fireworks, dancing, music and cacophonous singing, and this would quickly become hell. But throughout the day, across the day, there are moments and quick little insights and spontaneous encounters, that can glisten like jewels in the mud, if we are ready to find them, cherish them and celebrate them. My own day today will consist of a client to see in East Vancouver this morning, followed by a meeting with a supervisor in the afternoon, and time before and between to walk, enjoy the exercise and the weather, to pause somewhere, likely in a coffee shop, with my sketchbook. There will likely be trials and obstacles along the way. Our days are also filled with unhappy, lost and desperate souls. Or people simply too selfish and lost in their own self-importance to even notice that other people exist, and that they are standing right next to them. They are part of the mosaic, just as are you and I, Gentle Reader.