Life As Performance Art 177

This is about dogs, Gentle Reader. Not about my love of dogs. I merely tolerate them, sometimes like them. I have not succumbed to the frenzy of dog-mania that seems to have swept our city, our country, and I have also noticed, other countries and cities, such as Mexico City, and Bogotá, Colombia, for example. where everyone would rather feel unconditionally loved by a four-legged animal that is going to be like having a permanent two year old child to have to care for and clean up after for the rest of its life, rather than have to endure the challenges of interacting with other humans. I prefer cats. (Yeah, you're not surprised, eh?). If having a dog is like raising a permanent toddler, then a cat would be more like a permanent teenager. I don't hate dogs, not any more. I did for a while, but only after surviving one threat after another, near-attacks and the occasional bite. After a while, one is not going to harbour much fondness for beings that tend to hate and threaten and try to harm. I also heard all the lame and blaming excuses from others, barmy and rather brainless dog-lovers (why do extreme dog overs always seem to hate, loathe and fear cats?). I was told that it was my fault, I'm afraid of dogs, they smell fear, therefore they are going to attack me. Which doesn't explain the many other friendly, warm, affectionate and loving dogs I have also been privileged to know. And fortunately, none of those shamers and blamers are any longer friends of mine. Their judgment of my problems with dogs were merely symptoms and manifestations of a lot of other problems they seemed to carry, and refuse to reckon with, and now that I am rid of those people, I am also quite free from their many other neuroses (including their irrational fear, loathing and hatred of cats!). It also turns out that the problem was never me to begin with, but with all the badly trained, poorly socialized dogs that used to run around free because their owners didn't care enough to keep them inside or at least confined to their property. There was a time, until the last twenty years or so, when dogs were allowed to run around loose in many neighbourhoods, often harassing and sometimes terrorizing people. I have had thousands of such encounters in the past with random untrained dogs and it hasn't been pretty. Even nowadays there are dog owners still too dumb or too arrogant to keep their cur on a leash, which is just as unsafe for the dog as it is for others. There are documented accounts of dogs off leash recently ending up in a marauding coyote's stomach. Badly trained dogs can also be very unfriendly dogs, and will treat anyone who isn't part of their pack, human or otherwise, as a threat. It is doggy instinct, and in such encounters I have sometimes narrowly escaped from being severely mauled and bitten. I am not blaming the dogs, by the way, they are just dumb animals, but I often think their humans are even dumber. It was my father who, when I was a child, taught me how to deal with an aggressive dog. He told me to never run away, but to stand my ground and speak to the dog in an authoritative voice. Then came the test. In our neighbourhood there was first a loose aggressive German shepherd who tried to threaten and corner me. I stood my ground, though at the age of ten, I was also shaking in my booties. But it worked. When the dog saw that it could not intimidate me or get me to back off or treat me like a chew toy, it eventually got bored and backed off. Spmething similar occurred a year later with a random Doberman. Terrifying, natch, but I was not going to budge. It worked. I was set for life. This, by the way, has also become my way of dealing with obnoxious and threatening humans. Never yielding an inch. It has never failed me. Thanks, Dad.