Descent Into Barbarism

It seems to be where we're heading.  Every man (and woman) for themselves.  I was threatened today by a large black man in a pricey neighbourhood of my city (Kitsilano, Vancouver).  I am mentioning his race because I am not ruling out racial hatred for his near attack on me.  He has a shaved head, wore sunglasses (do I see an ugly male stereotype here?) and was jogging pushing (ironically) a double baby stroller with a husky dog in tow.  There was very little room left for me on the narrow sidewalk so I commented in passing that there wasn't a lot of room for pedestrians.  He called back, "What did you say?"

I should have ignored him but I said, "you heard me the first time." 

He repeated "What did you say?"

"I'm sure you're not deaf.  I don't want to argue."

It turned out that he was following me and was getting ready to punch me.  In front of his baby.  I reached for my phone to call 911.  He swore at me and went away and I called back to him "What kind of language is that to use in front of your kid", and finished with "that isn't how we do community."

I know that I should have kept my mouth shut.  Anyone stupid and selfish enough to behave like this loser is not going to take kindly to even the most gentle and constructive criticism.  I am also weighing the possibility that he was on steroids, or worse.  Still, given that I was on my way to see one of my clients I should have known better and kept quiet.

I cannot seem to cure myself of this habit of commenting to strangers on their bad behaviour, at least when it impacts me.  I don't always, and more often than before I do try to keep my mouth shut and pick my battles.  I don't like being sworn at or threatened.  At the same time I do not like the idea of giving assholes a pass for their selfish, rude and inconsiderate behaviour just because I'm afraid of the consequences.  A coward I am not.

By the same token I really need to practice self-restraint around uncivil and barbaric douchebags like this very sorry excuse for an African (my heart goes out to all of you, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.).  While I can bounce back okay and still work well with my clients (all survivors of mental health struggles) I don't see that I should put myself in positions or in situations where I'd have to.  I've already convinced myself.  I'm brave.  Now let's move on.

Given that I have had more threatening run-ins with black men than any other demographic, this is concerning.  I do not believe that I select this group, neither consciously or unconsciously.  I do believe that black men tend to be disproportionately prone to aggression, crime and violence.  And also that my being Caucasian makes me a sitting duck for some of these guys.  I have heard all the reasons, all the justifications and all the lame, lovely liberal excuses for black violence.  They do have some merit, but I also believe there is another problem.  Young black men, and not a few of other races are fed, or feed themselves with a steady diet of toxic masculinity: porn, rap music, violent video games, mixed martial arts fighting, and an incredibly distorted, survival of the fittest, law of the jungle mentality.  Factor in unfettered capitalism and we see a recipe for social collapse and on a huge, descent into barbarism, kind of scale.  On top of that we have the massive sense of disentitlement from centuries of slavery and more recently of extremely crappy treatment from white society.  This is exponentially worsened by the passive encouragement many are given to ruminate on their history of injustice, steep in their acid bile of resentment and emerge out of it bristling with violent and virulent hatred.  I really hope that North American black men will, instead, come to emulate the mentality of the likes of Mandela, King and Tutu without fear of being labelled as weak Uncle Toms.

In the meantime, I am going to use this post as a way of keeping me accountable for staying quiet when strangers annoy me.  But I'm not going to do this out of cowardice or fear.  If I have to face off with a violent asshole, peacefully of course, then so be it.  This is going to be my reason for staying quiet: I have to start conserving my energy for more constructive uses.  It is evidently impossible to educate idiots in this culture of moronic selfishness, entitlement and narcissism.  I think it would be better for me to focus on being a good role model and to do what I can to show kindness and treat others well.  Let someone else do the teaching.  I'm done.

My final words to Black people:  If you want to be respected, then show yourselves worthy of respect.  Not to be feared, but to be loved and honoured.  And try to be gentlemen about it...