Yesterday I gave a two dollar coin, or toonie, to a panhandler in Chinatown. The panhandler was mixed race, I think maybe of Caribbean heritage, but I am not one for asking for blood tests or DNA samples. He was short, young, with dreadlocks and seemed rather gentle. He was standing outside of a Chinese bakery where I had been wanting to stop for one or two sesame balls for my lunch as I was on my way to see my next client. Sesame balls are a particularly exquisite dim sum item. They are about the size of a small tennis ball, made of deep fried glutinous rice flour filled with sweet red bean paste and coated in toasted sesame seeds. I was looking forward to enjoying one but when I saw him standing there, I decided to give him something instead, forgo getting anything for myself, and simply accept a bit of hunger till I got home from work mid afternoon.
But that wasn't enough for the young panhandler, who started demanding more money. I told him that that was all I could spare as I am a low wage earner. He kept insisting so I said, Look dude, I gave you what I am able to spare, I'm on a low income. Do you get it? He finally figured it out and backed off and apologized, which was decent of him. I did not tell him that I sacrificed my lunch in order to feed him, and I really don't think that would have been fair anyway. I still felt awful about the exchange, though, since I really have no way of knowing what that person might be going through, and how awful it is to have to ask strangers for money in order to get by, without getting yelled at by someone who cannot or will not give them as much money as they are wanting or needing.
By the same token, when you are in need like that, you are going to think of everyone who is a little better off than you as being fabulously wealthy, richer than Croesus, and appallingly selfish for not giving you everything that you want from them. I know what it's like because I have been there myself, and it is very easy to forget or not even think that a lot of people have to carefully budget in order to pay for food, housing, transportation, clothing, and that they might also have kids to feed and debts to pay, if they don't want to end up where we are.
Then, when I got on the bus and sat down, I made myself comfortable, enjoying the window view. The driver appeared to be maybe in his late thirties, white. An elderly Chinese lady came on, walking with some difficulty. Before she even had a chance to sit down the driver just roared on ahead telling her to hold on as she nearly fell down before sitting. I shouted to the driver, how about not starting until she has a chance to sit down first. When I was getting off the bus, a forty or so Asian man, Chinese I think, gave me a very warm smile as I was getting off the bus, and I believe he was happy to see me stand up for the lady. It might also have been nice for him to see an old white guy speaking in defence of a person of another race, but who only knows. It might also be easy to assume that the driver valued the Chinese lady less, for not being white, and if it had been a little old white lady, then he would have waited for her to sit down first. There is no way of knowing.
I don't think we are ever going to get through the race problem. There are just too many incurable mouth breathers and other idiots out there. I do think that we all have a role to play in trying to make it better, but this means patience, tolerance, kindness and respect coming from all sides, and it just still ain't happening. all we can do is keep trying, and avoid blaming others.
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