It's All Performance Art 48

Good morning, Gentle Reader, and happy Saturday.  I'm not sure what kind of nerve my communications

with my parish church about my not being wanted anywhere this Christmas, outside of sanctioned church activities.

Here is an email from the parish manager yesterday (which is to say I got the email yesterday, and I do believe that 

she is also the parish manager today.

"Thank you for sharing your feelings about Christmas.
It can often be a difficult time for many people –
even for some who appear to see it as a happy time.

It is important to the church that we provide support to and for each other,
particularly around this time of year.  That is why we are  intentionally hosting
a post service brunch on Christmas day at St. Faith’s
to ensure all have a meal and companionship.

We look forward to sharing this time with you."

Thanks, Christine.  Will there be anyone available to extend the visit afterward.  

I need something that is also away from church.  it didn't work out for me last year, 

by the way, and I am hoping there will be someone around who will be a bit more available.  

This is really a difficult time and unlike the rest of you i have no one.  I will be completely alone.

Can we do a bit better, please?

thanks

By way of explanation, Gentle Reader, I did attend the post service brunch last year, then, having nowhere to go, I 

felt abandoned and stranded and for the next three days I was struggling with a suicidal intensity of 

depression.  I do not want to go through that again.  But my plea, with the parish manager, anyway, appears 

to be falling on deaf ears.  She just doesn't seem to be getting it.  

Nor does she appear to remember what happened last year, when I told her most clearly and succinctly t

hat the post service brunch did not prevent me from having to struggle in order not to throw myself off the Granville 

Bridge.

Here are the rest of my

replies:

To put it another way, I need genuine human connection at Christmas, and if it's just confined to church,
it just feels like people are doing their job and nothing else.  Why can't someone just have coffee with me afterward
or something.  Why is that too much to ask.  Why are you people so selfish?

And finally, if no one at St. Faith's reaches out to support me this Christmas, and I once again overcome
 the temptation to kill myself (came very close last year), then chances are I will consider leaving the parish.

And finally, if no one at St. Faith's reaches out to support me this Christmas, and I once again overcome the temptation
 to kill myself (came very close last year), then chances are I will consider leaving the parish.

I guess you don't know that I am a PTSD survivor.  I was triggered by your email today, and left feeling disoriented.
I got through it okay.  Explaining everything to you has helped, but please understand that I need support at Christmas
 and I do hope that it will be there for me.  It was not last year.  I need help.  And no one seems interested in offering
help.  i hope this year that will change a little.  I also would like to talk with you more about this, maybe Sunday.
 thanks

aa

In conclusion, I have no family.  And I never get invited anywhere for Christmas.  Now, are there any questions
as to why I am upset about this?  And, yes, if no one treats me like I am wanted around St. Faith's, then there are
 going to be consequences.  Stay tuned....