It's All performance Art 37

Isn't it funny how much we rely on words?  Maybe that's why a lot of people have pets.  They need some being in their lives who will provide them with nonverbal communication, a cuddle with a cat or a pat on the head for a dog and all is well in the universe.  We're not really like that with one another, and really, human interactions are so complex.  No wonder we're all neurotic!   I mean, you can't really approach a stranger, no matter how nice and friendly they appear to be, and pat them on the head or sniff their bum and expect they are going to like it (one would assume, anyway, that they are not going to like it!).  If you're not super shy, introverted, or a snob, you might say hi or good morning or good afternoon, or whatever, and they just might respond in kind.  You might even pause to have a brief chat abut the weather, or the traffic, or the latest news on tap.  But even if you appear to be hitting it off, it is going to be oh so very carefully crafted and constructed, this interaction, to give both of you the optimum opportunity to get away from each other before you have a chance to become friends or something worse.   We all, after all, have our own lives to get on with, and that inevitably means that we simply aren't going to have time for others, unless we can reap from them some sort of  personal advantage. 

For the past three years or so, I have got in the habit, every day, of greeting spontaneously at least two strangers in passing.  I have determined that I am not going to show any preference regarding gender, age, social or economic class, whether or not they are good looking, their race, ethnicity, or presumed sexual and gender orientation and identity, ability or disability, or even if they may not happen to be progressive voters (I know, that last one can be a real stretch, but we are talking about kindness, here!).  The results have been varied.  Most people are friendly and responsive, and just a tiny minority do not respond.  No one has ever been actually openly hostile.  I do not do this in order to make new friends, though I have taken care to not rule that out as a possibility.   Rather, i am doing this in order to be a positive influence in the lives of a few strangers every day, to even for one or two seconds connect us, remind us that we do not walk alone, and to equip us to be even a little more open, more kind, more friendly to others, including those people who are already part of our lives and networks. 

is this working?  I don't know, but I do believe it is.  On the radio and in the news, anyway, more people seem to be talking about this need to connect more, in order to counteract loneliness and isolation.   Not that hard really.  Easy as singing Kumbaya, but less corny.  But I actually like the song Kumbaya, and only regret that it has become such a byword because of the cynicism of burnt-out and grumpy radio journalists.  (you know who you are, Gentle Reader!)

However, we are still going to be stuck with words, because that's really all that we have.  Humans are verbal animals.  We don't go around sniffing one another's bums, except perhaps in the privacy of a hotel room with a consenting adult.  And we certainly don't pat strangers on the head.  (Or, just try it some time.  I dare you.  I double dare you!)

But it's also our tone of voice that is going to make all the difference.  And our body language, and that we can somehow, in our daily interactions  treat one another with respect and kindness.  Okay, try that on a busy street behind a steering wheel, or even on a sidewalk obstructed by idiot pedestrians that think they are the centre of the universe, which is to say, everybody on this earth.

If we re going to pull this off, this connecting positively with others, then it is going to have to come out of a place of respect, as well as kindness.  No agendas are allowed.  And don't forget to put your phone away.  That's right, Gollum.  Your PRECIOUSSSSS!