It's All Performance Art 49

Yesterday, in my church, there was a huge funeral for one of the big shots of the parish.  I never new this person, neither did I attend the funeral.  I was across the street, occupying my favourite corner in the coffee shop with my sketchbook.   I wasn't being intentionally disrespectful.  But I didn't know this person, and by all appearances, he was quite wealthy.  or I am assuming this by the clothes the many people were wearing whom I could view coming into the church.  The reception was held at the Arbutus Club, an exclusive establishment full of old money.  The kind of place where I would be neither comfortable nor welcome.  I am mentioning this by way of understanding better the parishioners at St Faith's.

I did run into two different parishioners later on, who seemed to be on their way home from the funeral.  It turns out the dead man was the same age as my father: 91.  A good age, though my father met his maker ten years ago at the now robust young age of 81.   It is clear to me that this guy was wealthy, enjoyed privilege and social status and had I known him it is very unlikely that we would be friends.  Just as it is unlikely that I could ever be friends with the surviving wealthy parishioners of St. Faith's.  There is too much that gets in the way.

Even though it would be nice, and in many ways very helpful, for any of those selfish rich people to reach out to me this Christmas, I don't expect it.  I would be very surprised if I was even invited for coffee by any of them because I am still a stranger and an outsider at St. Faith's.  Even after a year and a half there, even after making a real effort to know and befriend people.  They want people who reflect the neighbourhood, which is to say, not just white people, but some of the local Chinese as well.  But not people like me.  Not poor people.  we will never be made to feel more than superficially welcome. 

For me, I will have to struggle again  with this Christmas against depression, and possible suicidal ideation, which could so easily be alleviated if anyone were to reach out to me.  But wealthy people tend to be also very selfish people.  Even at church. 

This is Anglican hypocrisy 101