Gratitude

I've been having a  good day.  I've been having a better than average day.  I've been having a great day.  Be still my beating heart.  Could I be dreaming?  Hallucinating?  Have I died and gone to Heaven?  I have had an almost flawless day.  It is not quite over.  It is 7:00 pm pst and I still have to get through the evening and get to bed okay and hope that I sleep alright and wake up on time for work tomorrow without problems or incidents.  I think it is likely to happen this way.  I woke up early this morning following a good sleep and interesting dreams.  I left early for work and had time to walk for an hour or three miles so I got off the bus early. Everything went well with my first client, a native Spanish speaker who speaks little English and following a two mile walk I had coffee with my second client, then after taking public transit part way then walking for a half hour I persuaded my third client to get out of the house and join me for a walk and coffee shop visit in this fabulous weather. After I bought groceries, mostly blood oranges at a nearby market, walked for a half hour and bussed the rest of the way home.  A young mother very kindly gave me her seat on the crowded bus.  Having arrived home I had a blast making something new and unusual for dinner (look for the recipe at the end of the article), have eaten to my satisfaction and now I'm listening to the As It Happens news and current events program on CBC Radio One.
     Hello?  Still with me?  I'm sure this must make for awfully dull reading for you dear readers.  Not a single complaint, no cynical or ironical remarks, no sarcasm.  Can you bear such insipidity?  But this doesn't feel insipid.  It feels fine, just completely and absolutely fine.  Nothing unusual, positive or negative has happened today, at least not for me.  It has been a very ordinary day.  To many I might have so little, but I feel rich, I feel almost obscenely wealthy.  I have more than enough food to eat and living in Vancouver there is an incredible variety of good and interesting food.  Like the blood oranges I bought today.  There are people here in this city who do not get enough food to eat.  They rely on food banks and a lot of them work for a living.  Full time.  Even though I am one of the poor who live in Canada (I make less than $20,000 a year) and have been much poorer, I have never gone to a food bank.  I have never gone hungry.  Doing the math it doesn't seem to figure.  But I have been homeless because of this same poverty.  When faced with the option of food or shelter I opted for food.  My health, wellbeing and my mortal life will always take priority over having a roof over my head.  I can deal creatively with homelessness, I have in the past and I hope and trust that this will never happen again.  Of course, being homeless is in itself hazardous to good health but even if I can stay reasonably well fed I will at least have a running start to getting my life together once I find a place to live, which is basically the way things turned out for me.
     I have a decent apartment.  It is small, a bachelor unit, one large room with a kitchen and bathroom.  Folks, used to better, look on me with pity and having a separate bedroom (at least one!) and a living room, and perhaps even a dining room, den and guest room, they simply are not able to appreciate their good fortune.  To me it is huge good fortune simply having a place to live especially in this obscenely expensive city I call my home.  Even better since I have my own bathroom and kitchen.  Absolutely stupendous that the rent is to me affordable, always less than thirty percent of my monthly income goes to rent and utilities. 
     I have nice clothes.  Almost everything I wear I have bought second hand, most likely at Value Village; my coat I bought new, my socks and underwear I always buy new (oh, why would I even have to explain that?).  I have received at work as Christmas gifts three shirts and two pairs of jeans and some socks, a toque, scarf and gloves.  When I was desperately poor I found in a free box or hanging on fences two beautiful sweaters and a Harris tweed coat which I still have and wear.  I have all these great clothes.  I feel richly garbed, maybe not in fashion but I've never cared a rat's ass.
     I enjoy good health.  Yes I am still overweight but have lost half of it.  My blood pressure and cholesterol are down again since I made some modifications in my diet.  I walk at least five, usually seven, miles a day and exercise at home.  Even though sixty is beginning to loom for me I think I have been blessed with incredible good robust health.
     I have friends.  I like them.  I like my church.
     I love my profession.  Even the low pay isn't enough to discourage me from wanting to get out of bed every morning.
     I have more or less mastered Spanish as a second language, which I only began to seriously learn fourteen years ago while already well into my forties.
     On my low income I am still able to travel to Mexico and beyond every year for at least a month.  The sun and culture are lovely, as well as the opportunity of improving my Spanish and meeting new friends.
     I have an excellent personal library, tons, more than five hundred great books in English and Spanish (that I've been able to obtain more than one hundred books in Spanish in itself is an achievement) proudly encased in bookshelves in my apartment.
     I could go on, but there is no need to.  I could lose everything overnight.  I could die in my sleep.  I could be scandalously and tragically betrayed, which has happened in the past.  I fear none of these losses and I know that should I have to face such losses that I will still come out okay.
     I have earned none of what I have.  I accept all these things and more as a gift.

Curried Cabbage

cabbage leaves coarsely chopped or shredded,
three to four cloves of garlic chopped
one large onion chopped
one cake of extra firm tofu
soy sauce to taste
wine vinegar to taste
one heaping table spoon curry powder
a few shakes of allspice
several shakes dry sweet basil
olive oil to line an enamel cooking dish, skillet or wok
sweet red pepper chopped
two large tomatoes chopped
half cup or more of chopped cheese (could be cheddar, Swiss, edam, gouda, or one of those basic cheeses.  Not blue, or brie or anything like that)

heat cooking vessel with enough olive oil to make it slick at medium heat, put in garlic, onion tofu, soy sauce and wine vinegar.  Simmer covered till onion nearly transparent.  Add curry powder, allspice and sweet basil and stir in, then add chopped red pepper and tomato, stir in then add cabbage and stir then cheese and stir more.  Simmer covered at medium heat, stirring frequently, or till cabbage tender.  Serves four to six.