I guess I am being a little bit cruel here. Especially given what an easy target he is. We first met in 1992 by introductions from Dippy. She was visiting the fundamentalist charismatic church that would eventually swallow her alive and where she met this sad pathetic young goth. She cheerfully introduced him as a Christian which he never really claimed nor professed to be. He was twenty-two and absolutely miserable.
He did take a strong liking to us, to Dippy, Dopey and me and even invited us all over to his apartment for tea. We would also meet one to one and he would pour out his tale of woe, that he was depressed, miserable and felt like the most unloved piece of humanity on earth. I do have a history, by the way, of getting suckered into overwhelming friendships by tales of tears and woe and this was no exception.
He was gay, but wrestling with his orientation. He was the adopted son of wealthy parents. There was a lot he never told me. I found it interesting that even with his father footing much of the bill for him that he could afford some of the luxuries that he enjoyed by sense of entitlement.
Within a couple of years he fully came out of the closet and became extremely promiscuous. Despite his solemn veneer of goth glamour he was really incredibly shallow and not terribly intelligent, yet very talented in the art of survival and of survival on his terms so perhaps he wasn't a dummy after all.
One night he was savagely beaten and required hospitalization, respite and protection. I think he lied about what really happened. I suspect that he owed his extra luxuries to other work he was involved in and that he had somehow really offended his bosses.
His father bought him a luxury condo for which he paid but a courtesy for rent. He acquired two exotic cats of a very expensive breed. He also turned into one of the nastiest racists I had ever known.
Other friends of mine would ask me why I would want someone like him for a friend. And I agreed that there must be something a bit askew with him. But there was something so irresistibly pathetic about him. And he was faithful and forgiving, two qualities that have always endeared me.
Eventually even I couldn't stand any more. I had also been through a very successful psychotherapy which had somehow changed me. I no longer felt desperate for friendship at any cost if only to assuage my festering sense of being unwanted. I was not going to be further outraged by his ridiculous and hateful comments about visible minorities and I certainly was not going to go on being emotionally blackmailed.
His reaction was fierce and vicious. He wrote me a particularly nasty and hurtful email. The friendship was over and the little prince was dethroned.
We have had a little contact since, only by email. We seem to be on better terms. I do not think we will see each other again.
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