Life As Performance Art 141

Yesterday morning I was enjoying a walk towards Stanley Park when at the stoplight I heard two young Mexican men (I am very familiar with the accent) talking in Spanish, in graphic detail about the details of some girl's genitalia. They were of course talking in Spanish, a language in which I am very fluent, and likely they wouldn't imagine that someone with white skin and blue eyes would understand their beautiful language (it never seems to occur to those people that a lot of Argentinians and some Spanish people also look remarkably like me and their Spanish is sometimes even better!). So as the light was changing I said to them: "Cuídense. Escucho a escondidas. Que tengan un buen día." Or, Be careful, I can hear what you're saying. Have a nice day. Their faces were quite horrified, they said nothing and just tried to get away from me as fast as they could. My accent in Spanish, by the way, is almost perfect, so they were probably trying to figure out what country I was from. Later that day, a Mexican friend of mine confirmed to me that Mexican guys can be absolute pigs when it comes to their way of talking about women. He also thought it was quite hilarious, as did my Peruvian friend whom I saw later. Now, there are many different ways of looking at that scenario and I am going to hit it with my best shot. First of all, I am quite sure I was not misunderstanding them. Always, when I say something in Spanish to people who are speaking the language around me, they are if not friendly, then at least cordial and polite. Not those too cerdos (pigs in Spanish). Now, they might have thought I was just being an opportunistic creep. Don't think so. I think it was pretty clear to both those cochinos (another Spanish word for pigs) that I was frankly embarrassed and offended. Of course, they didn't expect that I would know what they were saying because in their experience, only people with mestizo features can speak Spanish, which simply says something about their ignorance and intelligence. You know, when travelling abroad in Latin America I have become so sick and tired of local people trying to speak to me in English even after I have addressed them in perfectly fluent Spanish, that now I just confront them to their face. I tell them, in impeccable Castellano (a fancy-schmancy Spanish word for very correct Spanish, and it's pronounced cah-stay-YAH-no, or if you live in Argentina or Uruguay, it would sound more like cah-stay-ZHAH-no), "Perdóneme, pero ni el color de mi piel, tampoco mis ojos azules, son indicadores de mi idioma, y para tomar tal assumpción es algo racista", or Excuse me, but my skin colour and my blue eyes have nothing to do with what language I speak, and your making that kind of assumption is rather racist. That's right, Gentle Reader, I pull no punches and I take no prisoners. I think both those chanchos (same word) knew they were being presumptuous little idiots and couldn't deal with the embarrassment of being called on their appalling bad manners, especially by someone who was so obviously the other. And I have no doubt at all that I was also really messing with their heads as they were trying to figure out if I might be from Spain, or Uruguay or maybe Colombia.... okay, Gentle Reader, I will put things on pause, here. First of all, this is a repeat of a blog post I wrote last year, July 22, 2018. Have a look at it. It wasn't two young Mexican men, but two young Mexican women and they were talking about a guy's penis. Everything else is basically the same, except instead of referring to the gals as ´pigs, I was calling them Fulanas, Putas and Rameras, all words for whore. Now, I'm pretty sure that none of you were offended by the rewrite. Men should be called out for being pigs and objectifying women. You don't have to be a politically correct nazi in order to get it. But it was also the politically correct nazis that screamed and aquealed oh so shrilly at the original. How dare I slut-shame those poor girls! one said to me. Well, how dare those two Mexican girls shame that poor guy they were talking so loudly and openly about. I am an equal opportunity sort of person. And I will not tolerate this double standard that says men can be despised and hated for doing the same things that women should be allowed to get away with. It is simply in poor taste, no matter what sex or gender is involved. By the way, had they been two Mexican men and not women shame slagging a woman instead of a man, I would have been every bit as brutal with them. Just as when, some years ago, I stood up to and chewed out a four wheel drive full of randy young South Asian males for sexually harassing a young woman, even though I might have been risking my safety and possibly even my life at the time. To add insult to injury, one regular reader of this blog, while ending our friendship because I will not shut up about her need to get treatment for her alcoholism, had the absolute and colossal nerve to call me a hypocrite for writing this. You know, that word no longer hurts because I know what a useless catch-all it is. First of all, we are all hypocrites. Not one single person alive ever successfully lives according to their stated beliefs or ideals. It is a feature of our weakness as human beings that we are always going to stumble and fall, which by the way does not let us off the hook for not trying. However, I have also noticed, that someone is only going to use that word with me if they are angry and enraged at me for some unrelated reason, or because instead of being a hypocrite I have called them out once too often on their own hypocrisy, as I did with my ex-friend and others. Instead of thinking it through, they simply scream, because I am a Christian and I have pissed them off once too often, the word "HYPOCRITE". Well, honey, if you want to see a hypocrite, just look in the bathroom mirror, and if you do not want to associate with hypocrites then that will also mean that you are going to have to stop associating with yourself. A few weeks ago, on the sign board in front of a church, I saw the words, "Our church isn't full of hypocrites. We always have room for more." You know, Gentle Reader, you don't have to agree with me. but before your knee starts to jerk and you begin to foam at the mouth, please think before you write or say anything. Or at the very least, please THINK! Here is the rest of last year's post, for your edification. "Another thing is, I get really sick and tired of hearing men being demonized by women, especially now in this age of "Me Too." This is not to excuse Harvey Wine Stain and other such pigs for their incredibly atrocious and reprehensible sexual exploitation of women. But, hey you guys, this has absolutely nothing to do with gender, okay? Now, Gentle Reader, I will give you a minute or two to stop choking on your Shreddies before I continue...better now? This kind of piggish behaviour is all about power, and it just happens that men, for all kinds of historical and cultural reasons, have way more than their share of power. Not their gender, neither testosterone makes them behave badly towards women. It has been found over and over again that when women have power they are every bit as apt at abusing it and oppressing and yes, sexually exploiting those underneath them as men are. It is an equal opportunity problem. I also happen to know, being a male myself (even if I don't subscribe to or fit in the gender binary) that men are every bit as squeamish and modest as women are, and what President Dump, the Great Deplorable in the Outhouse (whoops, I mean White House) tries to dismiss as locker room talk is actually not typical of how men usually talk among themselves. It happens, yes, but not every day, and quite frankly, most of us would prefer to talk about something else. Gender binaries are a kind of prison and we need badly to break out of this. Long ago, for myself anyway, I rejected any concept of gender, because I found all the definitions and roles of masculinity and femininity to be equally wanting and equally bankrupt. I also found myself rejecting power, refusing both to wield power, and to not let anyone oppress me. It's been a very interesting dance but essential for living as a free person. Neither male nor female, but fully and completely human. Neither master nor servant, but master over myself, and servant to God and humankind. Still choking on your Shreddies, darling?"