Christmas arrives in thirteen days and I still don't care. Except, that, as always, it looks like I'm going to be at loose ends again and will have to rely on the good will of others to help me get through this. People aren't usually very generous this time of year, unless you are a family member or a friend whom they really value. Well, I don't seem to be really valued by my friends, who always seem to have more important people to see, so they don't mind leaving me stranded. Somehow, I usually find something to do, or one or two people to see, but it's still a struggle. I suppose that I could volunteer somewhere, but it really doesn't feel like an option, as, I am not really connected anywhere. And really I want to be around people who want me there. By the way, I used to make and host Christmas dinners, but then my life went sideways, and now I live in a tiny subsidized bachelor apartment. So, that's no longer an option.
Yesterday I sent my church an email about this. Here is what I wrote them:
|
|
mié., 11 dic. 08:44 (hace 19 horas)
| |
|
|
|
Hi there
Just to remind all of you, Christmas is for me often a nightmare. I have no family and what friends I have are usually missing in action, and during a time when I need support it usually isn't' there. I don't need to be invited for dinner, but it would be nice to have people I can hang out with in the afternoon of Christmas Day, outside of church. In other words, Help, please. Thank you.
It is going to be interesting to see what kind of response I get. And I will also be sending them this blogpost in another email. Usually, my experience with people at church around Christmastime has been very disappointing, and my only expectation has been to be with anyone who wants to hang out and visit. Dinner is not necessary. People or even one person to have coffee with would still be fine. But it seems that no one wants to do even that much with me.
So, if everyone at church leaves me hanging, like they did last year, then it is going to be very awkward for me there for the next few Sundays. I might even quit attending. Permanently. Anyway, people at St. Faith's, you have been put on notice. And I expect to be invited somewhere by someone there on Christmas Day. Prove that you practice what you preach. Practice with me for a couple of hours. After church activities, On Christmas Day. I will buy coffee if you want to just go to Starbucks. You don't have to feed me. I will even bring cookies. Homemade. By me. No excuses. I know you won't want me to blame on some of you yet another near suicidal depression, like the one that almost hobbled me last Christmas. Because no one was there for me. Thanks for understanding. And I will be reporting again on this blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment