Sabbaticals

Fear not Gentle Reader, this post has nothing to do with my trip to Costa Rica.  This is rather the sum of my thoughts following a Ted Talk I just saw this rainy afternoon.  We are in December right now and very near the Solstice.  Within a few very short days (and very long nights) we will soon, in the Northern Hemisphere, be seeing one minute per day added to our quotidinial portion of sunlight.  This is something to look forward to and quite honestly GR this is often what it really takes to get me through these dark nights of encroaching winter.  I try not to think of winter, but of sunlight.  I assure myself and reassure myself that after December 21 or so it will all begin to get better again.  No one will really notice for a few weeks but we can still hold out in faith and hope that the days will get longer and the collective depression will begin to lift.

I have been surviving these weeks leading up to Christmas partly on the strength that I gathered last year when I boycotted Christmas.  Feel free to look for the three posts titled "Hanging Christmas Out To Dry", published around Christmas 2013.  This year I have partially lifted the ban on Christmas, but just a little.  The depression hasn't been as frequent, long lasting or severe as in the past.  I have been managing it rather like a sulky cat that refuses to go outside.  Ignoring the nonsense of Yule (shopping, preparing, decorating, socializing to a pathological excess) and focussing entirely on this Holy Season of Advent.  This has become a time of preparation for the coming of the Christ Child, a time of silence, reflection, prayer and waiting.  I have found that it is possible to make depression work for me if I am fully willing and committed to letting this become a time of constructive reflection and introspection. 

The challenge often is to not get focussed on the negative, the seemingly hopeless.  It is a matter of knowing where the gulf begins that can swallow us into despair and not to go near there.  I did have a brief encounter with suicidal ideation last week.  It didn't last long.  I had been despairing of the value of my life, given that I will one day be old, and perhaps not in good health, and considered a burden to society.  I had to capture and identify the values that were influencing me as quickly as possible.  I had to remind myself, repeatedly, that my value, our value as human beings, has nothing to do with our utililty and everything to do with the image of God in which we are made.  Because we are God's workmanship we are each of infinite value. 

For this reason we all belong to the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe.  We are His (Her) property so to speak, which means it is not for us to decide when we are going to leave this earth.  This is why I reject assisted suicide and view it as a slippery slope to compulsory euthenasia in order to control and reduce the costly population of ailing senior citizens that will soon be overwhelming our health care system.  I am not saying here that this is the way it's going to go.  Rather, this is a warning, an alarm cry if you will of where we could be headed if we do not look at this now and take firm and lasting measures to prevent such a tragic and egregious outcome.

The Ted Talk I saw today is about a design artist who takes a year long sabbatical every seven years.  He is able to since he has the money.  I found the comments also quite illuminating.  There is a general debate that only those who have the financial means can afford to take this kind of risk.  I also put in my oar, supporting those who say they are unable but offering a caveat that they still open themselves to the possibility of a sabbatical should it ever present itself.  To those magical thinkers who tried to persuade the nay-sayers that they just have to do this, say that, wave this magic wand and it's all theirs, I said that they should not be judgmental of another person's situation, especially if they've never walked in their shoes.  We are all doled different hands of cards in our lives and I think we are all heroes for playing our cards as well as we do.

As for myself, for the past six years or so, I have found myself in a position where I can actually take sabatticals now.  Not every seventh year but at least I can go away for a month or longer every year, down in Latin America, where I can recharge my batteries, get a fresh sense of vision, renew my forces, and speak tons of Spanish.  I never thought this could ever happen for me.  I did not make it happen.  God did.  For this reason I will not judge those who are not able to afford themselves this kind of luxury.