The Gifted Child Complex

I was diagnosed as a gifted child.  I will give you exactly thirty seconds to catch your breath.  Okay, I'm not saying it again.  Once is enough.  When I was in grade one I was considered a child genius, or nearly so and they gave me a beautifully illustrated book about everything as an award at school.  It was all in the form of ABC and the only one I remember is the letter G, which is for "Gay" and the illustration was of two incredibly gorgeous birds.  I forget exactly what they might have been but I suspect now they might have been sunbirds or similar.  Here is a Google image to refresh your memory:

 

Neat eh?  Probably time soon to paint or draw one of these little beauties.  Well, now the word gay means something entirely different and I promise to spare you disagreeable British puns about birds, but seeing that image, especially given that I cannot remember what the birds were, was the first thing that inspired me to paint tropical birds.  I think that with each painting I am trying to remember that incredibly lovely image from that book.  Under G for Gay.  Referring to their colours of course.  Here is one of my paintings of sunbirds:

 7.   2007

"Africa"

acrylic,   12"x36"

 

In grade four I was put in an experimental class for advanced kids.  We shared facilities with students in grades five and six.  It was fun, actually, with field trips and open learning.  Mom had me kept in the school when we moved to a different catchment area halfway through the year because it was such a beneficial experience for me.  But my big brother was one of the cool kids and I wanted to be a cool kid.  From when I settled into grade five at a new school surrounded by very average kids through grade eight I was relentlessly bullied and ostracised.  What helped keep me sane was my ability to stand my ground and fight back.  But I was widely hated and feared for being smart and gifted.  Those, and not just the weak little idiots, are among the most popular targets in the schoolyard.

 

The day I finished great eight, June 16, Tuesday, at the tender age of fourteen I smoked my first joint, offered by older rebel kids, all cool underachievers.  I morphed into a cool underachiever.  I also read politically revolutionary and socially progressive literature, particularly underground newspapers.  I turned into a leftist anarchist, or an anarchist leftist.  I continued to smoke pot.

 

Six months later I met the Jesus freaks, gave my heart to Jesus, and nothing has ever been the same.  This spiritually empowered and enlivened movement was also anti-intellectual and anti-education.  For an underachiever like me it was the perfect disguise.  I could excel at being a Christian, ignore my gifts and let them rot in the ground.  I was determined that if I could not be normal and ordinary I could at least excel at being strange and still be left off the hook.

 

It wasn't that easy.  Because I had actually met God he was not going to let me get away with neglecting my gifts.  Little by little, over the years, I reclaimed my gifts: my intellectual gifts, my artistic gifts, my literary gifts, my linguistic gifts, and now, my musical gifts, and each one I came to see not as an obstacle to my spiritual growth and development but an opportunity and a tool with which God is calling me to serve him.  I also discovered that instead of distancing me from God and spiritual values this developing my gifts has rather brought me closer to God than ever before.

 

I still find myself resenting being singled out for being gifted.  So I have a well-above average IQ?  Big deal.  What kind of human being am I?  Do I care about others?  Respect them?  Treat them with compassion and dignity?  Quite seriously I feel like a duck that lays golden eggs.  A very ordinary little white duck, sitting on a nest, not really aware of what's happening, then suddenly, "QUACK!", and lookie! What a big fat golden egg and boy did that hurt.  Do I care?  Not really.  I would still rather be ordinary.  In the meantime I will continue to use and cultivate my gifts in a way that pleases God and can benefit others.  I will also continue appreciating the great works of literature, music, art and scholarship, if for no other reason but learn from the masters, gain new inspiration and keep me humble.