I am grateful for money. I am grateful that I have enough to pay my rent on time every month, enough to buy all the food I need, enough money to take care of all my needs, as well as having enough left over to travel every year. I am grateful that despite my low wage I am still able to do well.
I do not adore money. It is a means to an end. We use it to take care of our needs and to help others who don't have enough for their own needs. Everything else is negotiable. We don't need huge bank accounts. I have a savings account, for emergencies and for travel, as well as for my retirement. I have perhaps enough saved to survive on for up to eight months. But to have more than I need? It's not in the picture. I am among the poorest demographic in my country, yet I don't feel poor and I don't live like a pauper.
I am fortunate that my expenses are few. I have no bad habits and no nightlife, nor do I want one. I am happy to stay home in the evenings or to meet my friends in coffee shops or go for long walks together.
I feel sometimes conflicted: should I simply be content with my lot and not struggle to earn or obtain more money? But what would I use it for? I already have enough. Does this mean that they should raise the minimum wage? Of course it should be raised. Some people would find my lifestyle impossibly austere and I don't think it's fair to expect that everyone is going to turn overnight into a vegetarian, quit smoking, give up going out to concerts, plays and movies, and not want to live in relative luxury while on holiday, just because I can do it, neither should others be expected to live the way I do.
Do I think that people could afford to learn to live more modestly? Well, I don't know. I used to believe this but I find this idea to be more nuanced than before. I do believe that those who have more money should be paying a higher proportion of taxes. Somehow I have always had what I needed. Even when I was homeless for ten and a half months, I never spent a single night outside. I have always trusted God to provide, and God has always provided for my every need. I never passed one single day without food and shelter.
I don't know why I've been so fortunate when there are so many others who sleep rough and go hungry in this wealthy and prosperous nation, Canada. I am not gong to make the arrogant mistake of others by claiming that if it went well for me it will go well for anybody; if I can do it so can you. Life isn't that simple. There are always different variables at work. Life is always full of unequal outcomes. And even if I do believe that God was providing for me, why doesn't he provide for everyone else? But such is the nature of life, which is always going to be less than fair. Because we humans have made this world the mess that it is we cannot just expect that God is going to come in, wave a magic wand and make everything nice again. How would we learn responsibility if he did everything for us, including wiping our pathetic little asses for us?
I remember once getting into a nasty quarrel with a very angry anti-poverty activist. We were both collecting social assistance. When he heard me claim that through very careful budgeting I was able to feed myself decently if modestly while on welfare, he refused to believe me, even calling me a liar. I honestly don't know how I did it, Gentle Reader. But I did it and even if I can't credit God with helping others I give him the glory for helping me. And even if I have next to nothing I still have the responsibility to reach out to my neighbour and help him within my means when he is in need.
Life is a mystery and we will never know the answers to these and many other questions. But this doesn't mean that one day we won't know.
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