I was recently press-ganged into joining the choir in the Anglican church I attend. No big deal I suppose though really there is sometimes a lot of fuss involved: getting the notes right, the speed, the timing, singing on cue with the appropriate rhythm and diction. Fair enough. It is I suppose an honour and certainly a sacred duty. I am greatly relieved, however, that we are not forced to wear the choir gowns.
Now there is nothing at all wrong with choir gowns in general nor with these particular gowns which really are very handsome, crimson red with blue detachable collars. Very smart looking indeed. Except for one thing-I will not wear one. And I am glad to report that no one seems to have a problem with this. So of the six of us or so in the choir I am usually the only gownless member.
Why am I like this? I certainly have this same reaction to having to wear almost any kind of uniform and I am glad to report that I have almost never in my working life except for a couple of short-lived positions-had to wear any kind of uniform or fancy attire at all. Neither did I wear a school uniform. I live in Canada where only children attending private schools have to wear a uniform. Throughout my life I have always dressed the way I want and gotten away with it.
This is likely an irrational fear and on some level I have always known that wearing a choir gown, or any kind of uniform or professional drag, is not going to change or alter my identity by an iota. Or will it? I have always jealously guarded the privacy of who I am and have always stubbornly resisted any pressure to conform to others' ideas of who or what I should be. I suppose you could almost call me a professional rugged individualist.
Except... I happen to know some things about rugged individualism that give me pause. That this is rather an extreme of American libertarianism and that this kind of positioning is pro-gun, anti-government, paranoid, and doesn't care a doggy's dookie about the poor and vulnerable of society. I have also in recent years learned more about the value, actually, the absolute necessity of community, and that no one really stands alone but in many ways we hold one another up.
So why this stubborn dislike of uniforms and conformity? Well, I think that the way we dress does influence our identity and that to some extent anyway we are all shape shifters. I also accept the absolute necessity of uniforms in certain occupations. I am just glad that I don't work in any of these places nor am I certain that I would be accepted as an employee.
It isn't just in church or the workplace that I eschew the uniform but in all facets of life. I never change out of my work/street clothes into something more comfortable when I am at home or on my days off. I always dress the same regardless of where I am. This reminds me and says to the world that I will always be the same person. I will always show my true and most authentic face. I will not wear a mask or social disguise. What you see is what you get.
If I have to modify or change or alter my character or my behaviour in one venue, be it with friends, coworkers and clients, or people at church, I will also extend the alteration into those other spheres of my life. At work I treat my clients and coworkers with the kindness and receptivity that I have for my friends whom I try to treat with the same respect and discretion that I use in my professional activity and no matter where I happen to be I try to treat everyone in my contact as a face of the sacred.
No interview. No drag. No disguise.
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