What's Next? 14

There are conversations that I simply refuse to participate in right now, Gentle Reader.  During this pandemic, emotions are already heightened, people are frightened and during times of crisis and uncertainty, reason and common sense always are the first things to get tossed in the landfill.  I am not going to mention any examples here either, because right now I am a bit of a coward.  I am sick of conflict and there are people who are just waiting for some excuse to self-escalate and I am simply refusing to go there with them, regardless of how tempting it can be.  I have come to realize that sometimes I can be like a cat playing with a mouse when it comes to other people, and even if that does serve its purpose at times (picking on politicians, obtuse journalists and power hungry bosses, I always like to punch above my weight, you know!), it can also become nothing but gratuitous sadism, and not everyone is going to share with me in my sense of play.  Especially when they are the ones being played with, and especially if they are also, with good reason, feeling fragile.

Right now, it is kindness that really matters, not being right.  I have already made that mistake, and one individual got very upset with me, and no matter what I tried to do to put out the fire, it was too late, and now I just try to be kind, and trust that if anyone needs correction or feedback, that it will happen anyway, without my kind ministrations.

I am trying to start each day with the thought of how many people can I bless today.  Sometimes it is difficult, because not everyone is going to be on the same page.  People are going to be too distracted, or too self-absorbed or simply too wounded and damaged to be anything but difficult and those are the ones that particularly need tenderness and understanding, tempting as it can be to simply kick their sorry ass as hard as I can.  But there have also been times when I have been that kind of person.  For example, when I first learned that my mother had lung cancer, and that her prognosis was going to be very poor.  For three days I wandered around in a daze of grief, worry and anguish, and who only knows what an absolute pain other people must have found me, especially not knowing what I was going through at the time. 

Well, the person being a self-absorbed pain on the sidewalk in front of me might just be going through the same thing, or maybe something even worse.  I have no way of knowing.  But if ever there has been a time when kindness gentleness and mercy are important, then this is it.  I am not going to be marching in any demonstrations, and I am not going to get into useless debates with others about who is right or about which lives matter.  I am going to stay quiet, keep my mouth shut and prayerfully discern what would be the kindest and most helpful words to proceed from my mouth.  Otherwise, I will say nothing, Gentle Reader.

Ta-ta for now.