Monday 25 January 2016

I'm Going To Be Sixty. (And Then One Day I'm Going To Die!)

I had this conversation today with someone who was born the same year as I.  We are both going to turn sixty.  For me it happens in five short little weeks.  Well, Gentle Reader, what can I say about turning sixty?  This reminds me of a chat I had with a friend yesterday who is in his early thirties.  He wanted to know what has been so far for me the best period of my life.  Very honestly I replied, the present time.  My fifties have been really the best, happiest, most stable and most productive time of my life.  I have a much better idea of who I am and of my direction in life.  It has also been for me an incredibly productive time.  I have produced an incredible body of art and have become reasonably fluent in Spanish with constant room for improvement.  I have lived in the same decent affordable apartment for more than thirteen years.  I have good stable friendships.  I have worked in the same profession for almost twelve years, work that comes very close to being for me a dream job.  I also have a decent home library with tons of books in English and Spanish.

My health has taken a slight beating.  Last year I was in hospital with a systems shutdown due to a noncancerous growth on my pituitary gland and an underactive thyroid.  My hands and feet were partially paralyzed, I was weak and could not walk without assistance. I am on medication, getting good medical attention (even though I sometimes have to kick the doctor's ass) and I feel better and stronger than ever.  I eat well, having been vegetarian for more than twenty years.  And I get lots of exercise, walking more than five miles a day.

My mental health has done particularly well during this time.  As you know Gentle Reader I am a survivor: of childhood abuse; of religious cult abuse; of complex post-traumatic stress disorder; of extreme poverty and homelessness.  I am glad to say that I have enjoyed during this decade of my life a full recovery from all these things.  My major areas of focus are: my profession as a mental health worker; my spiritual life of faith; my art; my friends; improving my Spanish; travel; doing my part to defend and advocate for those who cannot speak for them selves, especially the mentally ill the very poor and the homeless; educating myself in all the things that really matter in life-philosophy, history, human nature, social and international cultural realities, the beauty of nature, music, art and literature in the two great languages of English and Spanish; spending time outdoors while engaging in long walks; and writing, especially this dear little blog.

I celebrate what I have learned and gained through my losses in life.  Even though my family is dead and/or absent I live well alone and unburdened by guilt and enslaving obligations.  Even though I have always been single and childless I have come to revel in my solitude as a gift from God and as a perfect forum for spiritual growth and development.  Even though I have had to leave the church in order to give myself time to heal and restore from some very messy situations I have been in I know that God is with me and upholds and sustains me through all.

I do not know, Gentle Reader, what the future holds for me.  I like to think that with each choice I make and each step I take that I am actually right now creating my future.  Now I want to especially value and treasure each moment and each person with whom I come into contact, to embrace each moment and each person and every friendship as an irreplaceable gift and as a portrait of the Divine.

For now, if there is any one thing that could possibly bother me about turning sixty it is realizing that no one seems surprised when I tell them.

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