First I should offer full disclosure of where I got the idea for this post. I was walking towards Stanley Park today (for those who have never been to Vancouver and know nothing about this outrageously beautiful city, Stanley Park occupies a peninsula of more than four square miles in size, the majority of which is forest with hiking trails) and thinking about work. Now why I would be thinking of work during a holiday? (for non-Canadians, this is Victoria Day, also known as the Queen's birthday, but this is neither Queen Elizabeth II's birthday, nor Queen Victoria's so please don't ask me why the third Monday in May was randomly chosen, but this is also the unofficial beginning of summer, as well as the beginning of planting season if you live anywhere in Canada other than the west coast here where the winters are mild and almost spring-like and planting begins in March.) Well, I think about a lot of things on my days off, since I usually spend them alone though sometimes there will be time for a cup of coffee with a friend. My work is also mentally invasive since as a mental health peer support worker my job is very relationally based and it is a common occupational hazard that I will often be carrying it home with me. Days off can be great for processing and dealing with work related issues. A few extra days off would make it unnecessary for me to think at all about work but then I wouldn't make enough money to pay the bills and go on vacation every year. Which also suggests the huge power imbalance that is common in the work place. You do as you are told, when you are told and it doesn't matter if you're a new mother needing time off with your kid or a single and childless schlep who just needs a mental health break, you are going to get docked for unapproved time off, unless you have a very good benefits package where you work, so your basic survival is going to depend on your being at your bosses' beck and call if you want a roof over your head and enough to eat every day.
Back on topic, but I don't think I really left this topic: While I was walking past a beautiful heritage park in the West End called Barclay Square, featuring beautifully preserved and restored Victorian houses and a landscaped park (the park is currently fenced off with wire mesh since local residents have allowed their dogs to destroy the grass. It is not a legal dog park). For some reason, just after I stopped to smell an exquisitely fragrant rose (it was a very pale pink and wet from the rain that fell early this morning. The fragrance was almost intoxicating) I thought of one of my supervisors who tried to sell me on the benefits of learning how to work well with a variety of rehab professionals with different styles of work. Because she is my supervisor and I occupy the lowest wrung on the ladder I knew better than tell her what she was really saying: "So what if this occupational therapist is an incompetent bitch who doesn't have a clue about how to work with you. She ranks way higher than you do and can get your ass fired if she doesn't like you so suck it up."
This is the language of hierarchy. Another example: five or six years ago I lost two clients for the same reason. They both wanted to work with a female peer support worker. I have an excellent reputation in the field for being gender neutral and I work well with people of all genders, for which reason I was particularly puzzled that both these clients, one after the other, wanted to dump me for a woman. I don't even do gender. For me the human being is the essential human being and gender is window dressing. That has always come across in the way I relate to others.
Still, I can understand that one of my clients, an older woman from a very conservative background, would feel more comfortable working with a woman. The other client however was (and as far as I know still is) a man. They had the same case manager. I do not know what went on behind the closed door while they were each consulting with their case manager but this was just too much of a coincidence to simply let it pass. I told my supervisor about this and we met together with the case manager who insisted that she was not guilty as charged and was only wanting to respect the wishes of her clients. Fair enough.
I have worked at this job for ten years. Never before, and never after, has any client I worked with asked to have me replaced by a woman and I work equally with men and women. This particular case manager and I still work in the same outfit which I am not going to name here out of consideration for the privacy of my coworkers and clients as well as my interest in not getting my ass fired. This case manager and I have not worked together since and I don't think that we ever will.
A few months ago at a staff meeting I mentioned a strategy I was going to pursue with a particularly challenging client, after of course clearing this both with his case manager and my supervisor. The case manager who doesn't like male peer support workers said in a very tart, peevish and unpleasant tone that that isn't the role of a peer support worker. I very tactfully and politely put her in her place by explaining my reason for working this way with the client, my modus operandi and how this fit perfecly with the job description of peer support. I didn't tell her what I really wanted to say: "I don't tell you how to do your job, so don't tell me how to do mine."
And really, I would never dream of saying in front of colleagues and coworkers and the case manager "That isn't the role of a case manager." Ah...the Language Of Hierarchy!
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