The Peacock 45

 "It all came to a head with the pears."

Carl looks at me, puzzled.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to try them.  They looked delicious, but I have this rare condition."

"You're allergic?"

"Nothing at all like that."

Carl´s mild look of hurt reminds me that I have to watch my tone.  I did almost just yell at him.

"Sorry.  I didn't mean to say it like that."

"I understand  You have not been having a good evening."

"I have a couple of mental health diagnoses, one is schizo-affective disorder.  Which is similar to schizophrenia, with hallucinations, visual and audial.  The other is schizotypal disorder, which is rather a different gig.  But in my case it manifests in very heightened emotional and spiritual experiences. But it also, in my case, seems to be also a form of Stendhal Syndrome?"

"What is that?"

"What? You, an educated European, and you have never heard of Stendhal Syndrome?"

"Educate me, please", says Carl, leaning back in the armchair and crossing his ankle over his knee.

"Stendhal was a French novelist, early nineteenth century, who took a tour of Italy.  The incredible beauty of the many works of art he saw so overwhelmed him that he required several months of bedrest."

"He grew weak in the presence of beauty", Carl says.

"Alison Moyet.  You know her?"

"Great singer."

"That she is", I say.

"For me, it doesn't have to be a great work of art, it can be anything.  In this case, it was the pears."

"Have you read the book, The Highly Sensitive Person?"

"I have it on my bookshelf."

"Melissa, my sister, is highly sensitive.  She might be a helpful person to talk to."

"Sure.  I like her.  I like both of you."

"So, the pears..."

"Yes, the pears.  It's hard to know where to begin.  But when you and Melissa brought them in the darkened room, all on fire, suddenly...It was all that pure naked vulnerability of those beautiful flayed and skinned pale halves of fruit.  On fire.  And then, I was four years old, and being pulled from the wreckage of the car and my mother was stooped over, already dead behind the steering wheel, all covered with flames..."