"I am up before everyone else, everyone else being John and Christopher. I am so excited about staying here. They have a beautiful little house. Not too little, but not ostentatious either like some of the neighbouring homes, but this is one swanky neighbourhood. I just managed to scarf down a bowl of Shreddies and some of that marvelous shortbread we were eating last night. It was a real Christmas dinner, just us three. John is a marvelous cook and I can't remember eating so much turkey in my life. I think they mean it, when they say that they want me to feel like I'm part of the family here.
This afternoon we are having an open house, which it turns out is a tradition here. They get a lot of visitors from the church. I am looking forward, they seem like good people, but I really don't want them to know anything. I don't know what, if anything John has told them about me. I have no idea how he is going to explain me. Cassandra is going to stay in the closet. I no longer have any of my women´s apparel, shoes or makeup. I am determined to live my life as a man. But Harriet is always lingering there somewhere. I have not been able to kill her, and she isn't about to leave.
John would like me to find a way of integrating Harriet, or Cassandra, or better to just leave them behind and live as a guy. But they are two different women. Cassandra is every bit a disguise for Harriet as she is for Kenny. But Cassandra is a face of Harriet, and Harriet is Kenny just as Kenny is Harriet. I am not just one or the other, but both. And in a way, I am neither. So then, who am I really?
The weather is supposed to be nice for a couple of hours before it starts raining again. I want to go down to the beach. I have never been there before, but Christopher showed me the trail, with the stairs, going down. It is quite a long descent...
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