The Peacock 145

 "Since I now had the apartment in the West End, Doug, believing that God had called him to minister in the Downtown Eastside, he took a room in one of the most rundown and sleaziest of the SRO hotels around Hastings and Main, and that's where he deigned to live.  This left the farmhouse in Richmond somewhat unoccupied, so we would all take turns taking personal retreats there, given that the two women were also really occupied in their hospitality house in Mount Pleasant.  At least I was finally getting solitude, because for the two years anyway, I simply could not shake him.  Doug had to be with me everywhere.  And the tension really was mounting, because I could tell that he was also needing time alone, but said he was terrified of being alone too much because he didn't want to have to face his own shadow.  He also was violent on occasion and once, in August 1990 or so, he really beat me up badly, over a small argument about the correct way to address a senior priest at St. James.  Fortunately, I wasn't badly injured and there were no bruises or anything, but he left me in a traumatized heap, and for a long time I just lay on the floor weeping.  Then my mother called.  The cancer had returned and now it looked really grave for her, and I really had to hold it together in order to be supportive to her, though she must have sensed there was something seriously wrong, and that was also likely why she phoned me.

"That evening, Doreen and Dianne came over to talk to us, because Doug had just returned from a day on the lam.  They were nervous that I would call the police, and I really wanted to, but they were so afraid of their darling Dougly having to leave our community, especially Dianne who really wanted desperately his dick inside her pussy...Okay, I know I'm being crude, but this is really difficult for me, so bear with me, okay?

"Anyway, in early October, I knew that I had to get that apartment, and fortunately we were at the time awash in funds, so I could afford it.  I would get distance from that monster, be closer to Mom, and have time to start to recover because I already knew that I was traumatized..."