"In fact, I just sat there, as always, dumb, silent and frozen. They are nice people. They are lovely people. But they are not my people. This happens every time I am in church, and then we go out together after to the same White Spot restaurant, and I know that I'm welcome only because I am Christopher's friend, and he is the son of the minister, so they have to include me, being such good Christians and all. I don't know how many of them, if anyone, has guessed anything at all about my past. And both Christopher and Jim have remained faithfully silent. But neither have I been sufficiently engaged by anyone here to feel that I owe them any sort of explanation or justification for my existence. I am simply the mystery man. Silent Kenny, who knows, or tries to know when and how to smile appropriately, or laugh just the right way at just the right kinds of jokes, and that becomes my pass for being allowed to sit quiet, dumb and stupid in their exalted presence.
"The fact of the matter is, I always start out these Sunday night socials in a good mood, inspired from the service, the sermon and the singing and the worship, and then I think, what great, lovely and interesting friends am I going to make tonight, only to find myself gasping for air halfway through our coffees and dessert, and by the time we are ready to leave I either want to run outside screaming, or collapse in a corner in a ball of one huddled and weeping mess.
"They are all nice, lovely people. And two of them seemed to want to engage with me. A young woman, Diane and her boyfriend, Ted. They are nice, good-looking, both of them. She is starting her internship as a physician and he is graduating in social work. Yes, that's what I need. A doctor and a social worker to take care of me. Well, I think they suspect that I might be a bit troubled, or at least that I have a troubled past, and they probably want to know more, see if they can help. But if I tell anyone anything about my background as a drag queen hooker, then they will feel sorry for me, make themselves all supportive and caring, and who knows, but maybe Ted could even get a little bit excited, and then it's time to move on again Harriet!
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