"I was just talking to Jim, and he seems to actually get it. He says I don't have to go out with everyone after church In fact, I don't even have to go to church. He is especially clear about this. He told me, Kenny, you don't owe us. You are not obligated. Well, of course I'm not obligated. Gee, how long did it take us to figure that out? But then he told me something I simply cannot swallow right now. He said that they need me at church. More than I need them.
Need me for what? I asked him.
So he said that they need me at church because I...am...different. Uh huh! So, what else is new. So, he told me that everyone at that church is middle class and privileged. They don't have a clue about people outside of their privilege. So, that's why I'm there? To educate those lovely middle class people? What does he want me to do, give seminars? Dressed up in full high drag as Cassandra and then what should I do, provide tutorials on how to suck a cock? With illustrated guides?
A freak show. That's what he wants me to be there. A freak show, a bit of entertainment for those lovely bored and boring rich folk. Make up and fashion tips for the ladies.
Or I could tell them how poor and miserable and hurting I am from my life in the gutter. All in sequins of course. With my favourite feather boa. Pink, naturally.
He wants me to educate them? Compassion porn. pity porn. Put myself on display and then watch them all feel sorry for me and oh so horrified about how badly I messed up, and glorify God for restoring my life to wholeness.
I really want to just throw up right now.
To Jim, I said no. No way. No fucking way. I'm not telling them nothing. they don't deserve it...
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