And it would also weaken me. and I am not going to make myself weak, not to any of those people. only John and Christopher have that privilege. But I trust John and Christopher. they don't judge me. But to survive my life as a street ho, dressed up as Cassandra, and trying to pass off as a woman for the joy of sucking and playing with all those magnificent straight guy dicks. And the whole risk of being discovered, and no matter how good, how authentic, how flawless I was as Cassandra, there were always those little giveaways, and that's what got me beat up more than just a couple of times.
I love danger. Or I did love it. Now, not so much. and I'm already in my thirties. The bloom has left the rose. Time to do something legit. But I cannot live as just Kenny. Not without Harriet, who is also me. Which is why I never thought of changing my gender. I like having a dick. I also like being a girl. I like being both. And maybe neither?
John has more than once assumed that I no longer want to live a lie, so that is why I have put Cassandra behind me. And in a way, he's right. Cassandra is a lie. But Harriet isn't. Harriet is the real goods, and she and Kenny have to coexist. But my packaging is male. I have to respect that. Even if the rest of me is something rather different....
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